Get a degree, find a man, etc, etc, etc. . .

Have you ever noticed the facebook ads that pop up on the side of your page? I started paying attention to them just lately for the first time. I'm not talking about the friend suggestions or the things that my friends are fans of, I mean the sponsored ads. Today, my three ads are:

Increase your salary by working on a graduate degree

It's time to try eHarmony

He's single. Are you?

 

When I clicked for new ones, I got these three:

Too many friends? Try match.com

Become a fan of Explorica.

Go back to school with Argosy University.

 

These disturb me for several reasons. I've got no problem with facebook making some money – none at all. What kind of creeps me out why they think I'm interested in some of these things.

My profile said I was a grad student at FSU for 2 ½ years – why do they think I want to do that anymore???

I guess because my profile says I'm single, they think I am just desperately waiting for someone to come along and rescue me from the pit of despair that is my life.

And why on EARTH would I want to explore the world with students?? Especially 6^th graders – not in this lifetime. . .

P.S. When I spell checked this before sending it to my blog; my spell check knows how eHarmony is supposed to be spelled. How creepy is that???

PS X 2: I also hate that it asks you why you don't want that ad any more. Here are the possible reasons:

    Misleading

    Offensive

    Uninteresting

    Irrelevant

    Repetitive

    Other

They really want you to tell them why you don't like that ad, so they can give you one that is better suited to you.

NO Control or Why I LOVE my farms. . .

Ok, I admit it. I play Farm Town and FarmVille on facebook. They say admitting is the first step in fixing the problem. I'm addicted to both those games. I must apologize to all my friends who are NOT farmers, who get notifications whenever I farm. (HINT: You can click "HIDE" and not have to see then anymore.) I worry about my farms, I try and figure out what makes me the most money and I spend LOTS of time arranging, rearranging and making my farms look nice. I know it's too much and I've been trying to figure out why and Friday during our 90-minute meeting, which lasted 45 minutes too long it hit me. I had an epiphany. I have to start by saying this: I do not consider myself a control freak. I have been told that I try to control other people (never been my intention!)and that I want everything my way. I do not ever try to manipulate or twist situations to get what I want. I could give you a list of people who are much more manipulative and controlling than me and try to control everything around them, even to the food that other people eat! That is SO not me! I am bossy, and I do sometimes think my way is the best way, but not always. (Other people may disagree with me, but I don't care!)

Here's my epiphany: I feel completely out of control in my life. At school, I can't get all my stuff done at school because other people dictate so much of how I spend my time. We have so many people telling us what to do and some of them have no idea what we do every day, but they are telling us what we are doing wrong. , I can't get my students to so what I need them to do, and it is a constant struggle to get them to do anything. In most of my class periods, I spend more time being a referee than I do teaching. I feel like I need a whip and a chair. After almost nine weeks of school, my students still haven't' learned to come in and get their folders off the shelf. My students have broken and/or "lost" eight pencil sharpeners this year – two of which are electric. We probably aren't getting a raise AGAIN this year, and that means not even getting our step for teaching another year. This is my 16^th year and I'm still being paid for 13. I wanted a media specialist job really badly and had my eye on one, but the county put somebody there- again, nothing I could do to change it. I know, I know, I'm just supposed to be glad I have a job and I am, I thank God every day that I have a job. However, it annoys me to no end to have people who got their raise and make a whole lot more money than I do, doing a job that has NOTHING to do with students tell me that constantly. There are several other personal issues that make me feel helpless and that bother me, but I'm not going into details now.

Here is the other part of my epiphany. I love my farms in Farm Town and FarmVille because I am completely in control there. If I want to make a river, I make a river. If I want to bulldoze all my fields and put down new ones, I can. If I want to have elephants on my farm, it's OK. Now, I'm collecting purple hay bales, with the plans to make something with them later and it's OK. I can buy a house, pink fences, whatever I want to do. I can check on my friends, water their plants and get ideas for my farm. I can have llamas, sheep, and plant and tend all the flowers I want. In my real life, I can't grow anything, but I have tons of flowers on my farms. I have benches by lakes and a pink hammock between my river and my lake.

So, again to those of you who are not facebook farmers, I'm so sorry if my farms annoy you. I think they are my sanity.

So, what’s new?

I got my diploma in the mail today. It is a beautiful thing – much bigger and more impressive looking than my first college diploma from USF. My friend Sheila just ordered her husband a new diploma from FSU, (something happened to a corner of his) and she told me how much bigger his was than hers, but until mine came today, I didn't realize how right she actually was. It is huge and it's gorgeous! I need a nice frame to put it in, (that might be a nice birthday gift for next month family!!!) So, now I have a degree and I have a diploma, and I have a LARGE birthday looming right over my head. Is it any wonder I feel a little depressed? Today on the way home from school I almost fell asleep driving home and it's only 7 miles from my school to my house. So, I came home and took a nap. Big mistake! It's now 12:08 and I'm still awake. Tomorrow I'll wish I hadn't stayed up this late. I got up from my nap, found some dinner and did my 40 minutes of sweating like some sort of wild creature. I'm trying really hard to be careful what I eat and to get 30 minutes of exercise at least three times a week. Last week, I did pretty well, but I did eat some snacks last weekend I probably shouldn't have. I did (GASP) share a package of Reese's Peanut Butter cups with my niece – and then we had calzones from our favorite place. I know, we're horrible and probably deserve to be fed nothing but grass and twigs for the rest of the week. . . I don't know if anybody reads this, and if you do, I'm not sure why you care to read the mindless, pointless ramblings of my mind, but I'm going off on a tangent here. I feel beat up, bruised and battered. Not physically, but emotionally, I'm just "wrung out." I've got nothing left. I feel like at this point in my life, I'm not doing anything well and that nothing I do is good enough to make other people happy. That's a very depressing way to feel, all the time. I'm frustrated with my job; I'm frustrated with the whole system. I have some personal issues that I'm dealing with, and I'm not handling those well, which is another source of frustration and confusion. I miss my friend Mrs. Smith, and I hardly ever get to see her much, which is ridiculous, as she only lives 15 minutes away. Crazy as it sounds, I miss my friends from FSU, and it doesn't quite seem right not to talk with them regularly. Now, I realize that comparatively speaking, I have no reason to complain. Our prayer list at church is pages long of people who have much more serious problems than I do, people suffering with cancer and trying to struggle through, sick children, and people who've lost loved ones- I actually have no reason to be so at odds. But I just feel discontent. I know that I'm supposed to "whatever state I'm in, therewith be content" and I'm trying, but it's just not working. I am trying to count my blessings, instead of sheep, but I still not doing well. I'm also not sleeping well at night, which makes everything worse. My sweet friend Amy suggested I take melatonin, and it works pretty well, but sometimes I think I can sleep, so I don't take it, and then it's too late. But the amazing thing is, as I type this, I'm feeling more and more sleepy. Maybe, just maybe I can go to sleep now. . .

An amazing thing happened today. . .

Today was Open House at school. I hate the day of Open House. I don’t mind Open House once it starts, but I hate knowing its coming. I just dread the LONG day. I also worry about talking to parents. I know, it sounds stupid – I talk to people all day. But, when it comes to parents, I always worry. It always turns out OK, but I always worry. Today, I was extra stressed, because I’m off my laundry schedule. I share a dryer with my sister, and my washer is downstairs in the garage. I KNOW this sounds like a stupid thing, but when it’s raining, (which it has been after school for a few days) I HATE going downstairs, in the rain to the washing machine. I usually do my laundry on Mondays, because my sister is organized enough to do hers on the weekend. So, for years, I’ve been a Monday laundry person. Last week was Labor Day, and we were at the beach, so no laundry. The week before, I had the flu – not the swine flu – but a cold, icky flu-type sickness. I so did not feel like traipsing up and down the stairs doing laundry. As you can probably imagine, I’ve been way behind on laundry. This morning, I left three loads of laundry in baskets just waiting. I came home to this: one laundry basket of FOLDED clothes and a STACK of clean clothes on hangers. I guess there is a laundry fairy after all!!! I think it’s pitiful that I’m paying someone to do my laundry, when for 2 ½ years while I worked full time and worked on my Master’s degree, I could get it done. Now, I’m just working, (which I don’t feel like I’m doing very well) and I can’t keep up. What’s wrong with me?? Ok, I admit, I’m off topic, but I just had to share the laundry miracle that happened at my house today!
Below are pictures - my empty laundry baskets and one full of folded clothes, and then the stacks of nice clean clothes on HANGERS!

 

 

 

 

No self-control. . .

I really wanted a pedicure. I've been pondering it for a few days. But, I had to make a Wal-Mart trip. I needed a few things and ended up at Wal-Mart. So, having no self-control, I stood in the book aisle pondering and I did it. I bought the book I lost. I decided to forgo the pedicure and bought the Nora Roberts book instead. If you read my last blog post, you know I was frustrated beyond belief, because I bought this book in July and was ready to read it again, but couldn't find it. I bought it again. No self-control. . .

I’m irritated.

Okay, I'm irritated beyond belief. I am one of those people who reads books over and over again. One reason I re-read books is because I read very quickly, and sometimes in my rush to get to the end and find out what happens, I miss things. So, I read the book again later and can focus on the little things. In July, I think, I bought a book by Nora Roberts, who I LOVE. I love her books because often, she writes series books, most usually a trilogy and I love that I get to read about the same people again. Well, this summer the first book came out in a new series, that's actually going to be four books. This is the Brides Quartet, about four women who run a wedding service. It's a different book, first of all, because of the size and shape. Many of her books are all the same size and shape, and this one is thinner, but a larger book. I'm ready to read it again – and here's the irritation – I CAN'T FIND IT!!!!!! I have gotten out of bed three times looking for that book. I went to Wal-mart today, and almost bought it again, and I just couldn't do it. But I'm still irritated because I can't find my book. I guess I'll just have to get it from the library, I just requested it, but I'm still number three on the list. I'm telling you, I am just so irritated with myself, because I want to read that book and I want to read it NOW. I have a hard time with non-instant gratification, when it comes to books. Maybe it will still turn up.