Fighting with myself

For about the last week, I have been fighting with myself. The good news is, when you fight with yourself, you always win. However, you also always lose. . . Strange thoughts I know, but if you know me, you're not really surprised. I'm fighting with myself over my compulsion to be negative instead of positive. Last week in Awana, I encouraged our TNT clubbers to be thankful for five things every day. Easy, right, we have five fingers, at least once a day, while we're praying, thank God for five things, one for each finger. Well, I tried to do it, but every time I try, I keep coming up with something negative for each positive thing. Why do I do that? What's wrong with me? Here are some of the odd thoughts running through my head. I'm thankful I have a job (I heard today that something like 10 million people are unemployed) but I'm irritated because I have so many children and we didn't get a raise (or even a step this year. According to our county, my year of work last year counts as . . . NOTHING!) I have a new car, but I have car payments. I have good friends, but no time to see them or talk to them. (Thank goodness for facebook—at least I can see pictures of them occasionally.) I am working on my Master's degree, but it's nearly killing me. See?? No matter what good thing I come up with, part of me comes up with some negative thing. I hate that! I wish I could just look at the positive. I'm going to have to work on that. Maybe I should just make a list of good things and carry it in my head, and jump right to the next one every time my mind wanders over to the dark side. I can use my habit of jumping from topic to topic to my advantage. . . So, here's my list of good things.

1. Master's classes – we are on week 12 and the semester goes to 15.

2. After nine more school days, we get a whole week off for Thanksgiving.

3. Thanksgiving. Yeah turkey and dressing, and I know Robyn will make a pound cake using Granny's recipe. .

4. My Aunt Mary Ellen is going to be fine, just fine.

5. My friend Stacy had a perfectly healthy baby.

6. I'm not the one who delivered a 9 lb, 6 oz baby last week.

7. My cat doesn't require around the clock attention (like a new baby does) although he is staring at my fingers while I type and watching the mouse move suspiciously. . .

8. Publix makes this great Chocolate Trinity ice cream. Chocolate, with Denali fudge and caramel cups. (It's incredible!)

9. I've got some great new friends at church (and on facebook!)

10. Those new friends have a great new business that is going to be incredibly useful for people.

See, my list of good things is MUCH bigger than the negatives. . Focus on that!!!