A Man With A Plan

So yesterday, we made our weekly visit to see our dad.  We went later in the day than usual, because Josh wanted to go and he works until 1 on Saturdays.  Robyn baked pumpkin bread for Daddy and when we finally got there – (it seemed to take forever!) Daddy was in a mood.

He started by telling Mrs. Betty he wanted his folder. The conversation went something like this:

Daddy:  Where’s my folder?

Mrs. Betty: What folder

Daddy: You know the one with all my stuff in it. I want my folder.

Mrs. Betty: What stuff?

Daddy:  My identification. I want my identification, like my driver’s license.

Mrs. Betty: Why do you need that?

Daddy: I might want to go somewhere. 

We finally realized he wanted his wallet, so Mrs. Betty got it for him. He spent 10 minutes poking through it, looking at all his stuff. We had no idea why. . . yet.

Mrs. Betty needed to go to the store, so she and her daughter got ready to go. We try to let her get out when we come, because she stays in taking care of him all the time. We want her to have some time to herself and some time where she’s not constantly watching him – it’s a little thing we can do.

The minute they left, it got strange.  The following is one of the weirdest conversations we’ve every had. 

Daddy:  Are they gone yet??

Us:  What?  We couldn’t figure out what was going on his head.  They weren’t even to the car yet!!

Daddy: Somebody get the phone book and look up the number for the library. Call and find out what time they close. I want a book.

Us:  What book?

Daddy: The last one that that man wrote before he died.

Us: WHAT??   We finally figure out he wants a book by Louis L’Amour. 

Me:  Tell me what book you want and I’ll go get it for you. 

Daddy: I want to go!!   He had taken his library card out of his wallet – that’s what he was looking for.

I call the library deciding they were going to be closed no matter what.  Josh looks it up on his phone says out loud:  They close at 5.'

Daddy looks up at the clock – it’s about seven after 4 and says “Let’s go.” 

Josh: He wants to go to the library, let’s take him.

We were dumbfounded. Daddy  gets his new little walker/cart thing and starts heading for the door! 

Us: Wait, which library?  We don’t know where to go.

Daddy: I’ll tell you how to get there once we get in the car.

We’re trying every way we know to talk him out of it.  You’re not dressed, Mrs. Betty doesn’t know. . . He’s not buying it.

Josh: Grandpa, you’re not wearing any pants!!

Daddy (after looking down at his green striped pajama pants) These people around here are idiots – it doesn’t matter!   He turns his little cart towards the bedroom for some pants. Josh goes with him, Daddy:  Those jeans will work. He’s pointing at shoes. Josh puts the shoes on him.

He drives his cart to the front door – pajamas and all. We get him in the car.  We are terrified – Robyn decided she’ll stay home in case Mrs. Betty comes home and we’re not there!!

We start driving, he’s telling me exactly where to go.  We go past Steak and Shake.

Me: We can get a milkshake on the way home.

Daddy:  (with his hand over his mouth) SHHH!!!!

Josh: ( in a whisper) I feel like we just kidnapped Grandpa.

Daddy: I haven’t been out of that house in 8 weeks, except in an ambulance.  (A, he was over here for 3 days 3 weeks ago, and B) he didn’t ride in an ambulance, it was a medical transport.)

He gets us to the library, sits on his little cart/walker and says: “Who’s going to drive me?” So Josh pushes him as he sits on his little cart.  He just got this new little cart thing and it’s not made to be pushed, especially for somebody as tall as Josh, but he did it.  Except Daddy kept dragging his feet and using the brake. 

We ask the librarian for the last book published by Louis L’Amour. She can’t tell us.

Daddy: Point me in the right direction. I’ll know it when I see it.

We can’t find it.  He starts telling me about the book and I realize it’s one I’ve read.  I know the title but we can’t find it.  He says “Go ask again.” The lady tells me the computer says they have it, it’s on the shelf, but it’s never been checked out.  She goes to look for it, we finally realize it’s not with the Westerns, it’s in the regular fiction section. She brings it over, and Daddy says “Yes!! That’s it!  Check it out!) 

To make a long story short, the book he wanted was “Last of the Breed.” He rode on this cart/walker thingy through the library, in  his green and white striped pajamas.  He decided the people in Winter Springs drive like idiots.  Apparently idiots was the word of the day and 8 weeks was the time period of the day. 

He got a chocolate milkshake and said  “Ah, this is the goodest.” I asked should we get a milkshake for Mrs. Betty and Rachel – he said he didn’t know when they’d be home, the milkshake wouldn’t be good.

I know it’s not so funny to read, it can’t possibly be as funny as it really was.  When we got him home, his cousin was there to visit, she said something about him being out in his pajamas. He said “I don’t care.”  He drank his whole milkshake before Mrs. Betty got home.

We realized he had a plan all along.  He waited until Mrs. Betty was gone, he wanted the evidence of his trip  (the milkshake) gone before she got home.   He was quite proud of himself.  The thing was – it really wasn’t necessary. Mrs. Betty didn’t care that we took him out, but I think part of the adventure for him was the fact that he was sneaking. . . He was hysterically funny. When we were little, he would get in really silly moods like that and it was so, so funny. I’m glad Josh got to see him in a mood like that.  So next week, we told him we’ll take him out for another adventure. It may not be as fun if he thinks it’s OK.