If You Give a Curvy Girl Curly Fries. . .

If you give a curvy (feel free to read that as fat) girl curly fries. . .

                She’s going to eat them. She will also eat the broccoli, because it’s good for her, but she’s going to eat the curly fries.  Then, she may ask the server for cheese sauce for the curly fries.

                After she eats the curly fries with cheese, she’s going to feel guilty, so her friend will talk her into a bicycle ride.  She will try to ride the stationary bicycle and watch her friend on the elliptical, all while trying not to gossip. (Although this fat girl may begin to wonder how it is she even has a friend who can ride? Use?  Whatever the word is for what someone does on an elliptical. Honestly, most of her friends prefer cake.)  After she rides the bicycle for 5 miles, she will feel like her legs are jelly and she will be all sweaty. . .

She will hobble back to her room covered in sweat. Because she’s so sweaty, she will need a shower.  After she takes a shower, she will be exhausted, because she didn’t sleep well for the last two nights. So, she’ll try to take a nap. Because her hair is wet from the shower, it will get flat and dry funny because she’s lying on it.  She will get up, and have weird hair from both the attempted nap and because she has ridiculous baby fine hair that won’t do anything when it’s freshly washed anyway. . She will try and fix the weird hair, by wetting it and trying to dry it properly.  It won’t work.

Because she rode the bicycle and attempted to take a nap, she won’t have time for dinner.  She will go to her meeting with weird hair and feel strange the whole time. She will go to dinner after the meeting with her friends, still feeling strange about her hair. It will be late, so they will have to eat at the IHOP.  She will want pancakes, because DUH it’s IHOP. She will eat half of her best friend’s pancakes, which will make her feel guilty and think about a bicycle ride. . .