I will give you rest. . .

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  Rest is an important thing. Without rest, we make bad decisions, we are cranky and we mess up.  Have  you ever seen anything more cantankerous than a 2 year old who needs a nap? Or been in a checkout line with one behind you? Or on an airplane with one?   We’ve all been there. And how many of us have been so tired we wished we could just behave like that 2 year old and get away with it?  Yeah, me too!

Last year, this week was an exhausted blur.  From Monday afternoon until early Friday morning, we basically sat by our father’s bedside, waiting.  I hate waiting.  This was excruciating.  He was not aware of us,  but he needed us. We turned him, my sister gave him medicine,  we watched and listened to every sound he made.  We took turns trying to sleep, but basically we all catnapped off and on.  It was an awful, terrible time,  There were moments of sweetness, and I think that we forged some bonds that will be forever, but all in all, it may be the worst week ever of my life. 

Through it all, lots of people kept saying “whatever you need. . . “ They meant it, I know they did, but there was nothing we could do.  We didn’t know what we needed or necessarily how to ask for what we did need.  We took turns leaving for little bits of time- to the store, to get something to eat, to run errands. I think was mostly to get away.   But here’s the thing. My friend Melissa lives not too far from where my daddy and Mrs. Betty lived. She, like others said, “whatever you need.”  On Thursday of that week, Robyn and I were absolutely exhausted.  Robyn kept switching roles all week  from daughter to nurse. . . I was mad at the world, because that’s my first reaction to EVERYTHING. Neither of us had had decent sleep since Sunday night.  So we got in the car and went to Melissa’s house.    She opened the door, hugged me and said “Here’s my house. What do you need?”  I put a load of clothes in her washer, Robyn took a shower and we both took a nap.  Melissa gave us clean towels, clean clothes and REST.  She turned off the lights, closed the door and we slept.   I think we slept for about 2 1/2 hours.  That was the most un-interrupted sleep we’d had since Sunday. We couldn’t hear the sounds of the oxygen machine, we couldn’t hear those awful sounds that Daddy would make sometimes in the night, and we  both felt like for the first time in days that there wasn’t something else we should be doing.  I don’t think I’ve needed sleep so badly or enjoyed it so much.  After a while, we took our clean clothes and went back to Daddy’s house.  Little did we know that would be our last sleep until our Daddy was in heaven, and that the night ahead would be FAR worse than the ones we’d already come through. 

Without that rest at Melissa’s house, I don’t k now if I could have made it through the stuff that was coming later.  She may have saved me!  

Tonight, I’ll go to bed without my Daddy on earth for the 365th night. In some ways it seems like that nap at Melissa’s was just yesterday.  Sometimes I think that’s the last, best sleep I’ve had.  I know this: we’re supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus on this Earth.  Melissa was for us that day – she gave us rest.

My first week as the. . .

So I am ready to begin week 2 as the ________________ at my school. This is a multiple choice question.  Here are your choices:

A. Media Specialist

B. Teacher-Librarian

C. Information Specialist

D. Textbook Manager

E. Li-berry Lady

I am all of those things. I’m also a equipment supplier, secretary to the network manager, and custodian.  

Last week was my first week during school as the library media specialist (which is what my school calls me.)  I did a LOT of stuff.

I visited all our portables and then delivered TV’s to the ones that didn’t  have one. I helped our network  manager give everyone their equipment. I barcoded and added to our library management system over 700 textbooks, and delivered some of those textbooks.  I vacuumed the floors, laminated miles of stuff,  and changed the laminating film (which always requires lots of prayers).  I processed some new books for our media center and those should be ready to go shortly.  I took a picture for a volunteer, took some stuff to the Black Hole, (the portable where we put stuff that needs to go away) and tried to find places for some stuff that just keeps appearing.  Here’s some things I have learned:

1.  Many people think of our media center as the dumping grounds.  Anything they don’t want or don’t know what to do with ends up in here – so I can figure out what to do with it. Some people don’t even label stuff, so that printer that just appeared with a sign “media center” I have no clue what that means.  Does it work? Does it not work? Does it need to go away? Who knows?? Those boxes of books that just appeared on the circulation desk? Where did those come from? And what am I supposed to do with them?

2.   There’s been no consistency in the way we catalogued things in our media center. Some things have bar codes, some just have SAP numbers.  Some books have bar codes on the left side, some on the right. Some at the top, some in the middle. . . I don’t know how to fix that, except just do it all the same way from now on.

3.  Right now, it’s a little lonely and I know this will change.  I’m used to having students all day –  and so far that’s not the case.  Again, I know it will change, but right now, I’m a little lonely. 

4.  Getting to read new books first is pretty cool. 

5. I get why they say that the library is the most expensive room in a school. . .

6. Some people want every piece of technology that a school has, even if they have no idea (or even the desire) to use it.  I actually had someone ask me for something and then later, ask me what it was.  For REAL!

7. I have figured out our magazine order and ordered our newspapers (both online and digital!) 

9. I have a quote for books from a book company. 

10.  I got to do this: 

He wanted a book desperately. Our Art teacher sent me an email asking when he could get a book. He came to the media center, I asked him what he was looking for and we found it. We realized later, it wasn’t quite what he wanted (this book was all about drawing manga GIRLS and he wants to learn how to draw manga EVERYTHING) so we had to switch it out.  I promised him when I took the picture that no one would see it except me, so I had to hide hide his face, sort of. . .

When a good idea goes bad. . .

Do you ever have a really, really good idea, until you try to implement it? Then you realize what a terrible idea it was? That happens to me all the time.  Today, I’m just kicking myself.

 

I love bulletin board border. I’m slightly obsessed with it. I was at a teacher store yesterday and my friend was laughing because I kept saying “I’ve got that one and that one and that one.”  Yes, I’m a border hoarder.  I have bought LOTS of border and I’ve inherited lots of border when my friends have retired. 

I try to take really good care of my border, because it’s a little pricey to just use and throw away. I carefully roll it up when I’m done and put it all in a big bin.  I actually found a clever way to store it on Pinterest and I’m going to try that soon. I have a HUGE plastic tub filled with roll after roll after roll of border. I’ve got frogs, planets, globes, books, gumballs, Care Bears, Egyptian pyramids, Australian aboriginal art, you name it, I’ve probably got it. 

Over the years I’ve had most of my borders laminated. It  makes them stronger and they tear a whole lot LESS when they’ve been laminated. I have border that I bought the first year I taught that I can still use, and it’s 20 years old.  I get it laminated, roll it up in a gigantic roll and watch TV while I cut it.  Then, I spend 20 minutes picking up little pieces of clear plastic, but that’s another story.

Most border is curvy, like this:

(and yes, I do own both of those borders!)  My sister and I had a big discussion one time because she just cuts her straight across the top when she gets them laminated and that drives me crazy nutso! But it is easy to cut.  Sometimes I have to pick up half moon shaped lamination scraps. 

 

Some border is straight like this:

 

That’s a Mary Englebreit (who I LOVE!) border and yes, I do own that one as well. It’s really, really easy to cut out after you laminate it. You just run your scissors along the edge and the extra lamination just falls off.

But then, there’s the OTHER border.  It has shapes, which makes a lovely, interesting bulletin board. 

BUT, it’s a  pain to cut out after it’s laminated.  No easy curves or flat bottom to just slide the scissors along. . .  (Yes, I own that border as well.  I told you I was obsessed!)

 

So here’s my good idea gone bad.   I bought this border last year before school started.  It’s printed on both sides, it’s interesting looking and it has great colors.

Do you see where this is going???

I bought it last August. I’ve never used it yet. Can you guess why? I wish I could be like my sister and just cut it straight across the top.  But I just CAN’T.  I just spend 35 minutes cutting – and I have three pieces cut out.  Of course, now I stopped to write a blog post, so I’m even further behind.  You can only imagine all the little, tiny pieces of lamination scraps that are left behind. . . What a horrible idea!

Little Things. . .

I realize that most of the time, it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Little things usually do it for me.  Lately, there have been several things that don’t seem like much to most people, but make me very happy. Here’s a few.

Yesterday my professor and friend from FSU posted a picture of her dinner and tagged me in it. Doesn’t seem like much right?  Here it is:

It made me smile! Why? Because she remembers how much I love grits and it makes me think of when we were in London and she found grits for me.  See? Little things. . .

Yesterday morning at church, when I talked to sweet Ainsley,  she smiled at me.  Yes, she really did – and other people saw it!  Who doesn’t smile when a baby smiles at you? Little things.

During VBS a few weeks back, one of my little girls from Junior Church walked past the kitchen where I was standing with a bunch of other ladies.   Out of the clear blue, she yells out “I love you Miss Sandi.”    As you can imagine, that made my day. Another little thing. 

Today I checked my school email. I try to do it once every couple of weeks in the summer, because even though we’re not at school, the emails keep coming. If I waited until we officially went back to work, it would take hours to sort through it all.  Well, here’s what I discovered. 

 

Yep, that’s me! My title has been changed in our email.  I’m still listed in the Social Studies department, but I have officially been granted the title of Library Media Specialist.  Again, I knew my principal’s secretary had done the paperwork for the county to make it “official” but I wasn’t sure how long it would take.  But there it is, in black and gray.

It’s a little thing, but it made my day. I’ll be smiling about this one for a while.

A good housekeeper I’m not. . .

There are some things I’m good at doing. There are some things I’m not good at doing.  One of the things I’m NOT good at is keeping house.   I’m not a good housekeeper.  Okay, I’ve mostly messy.  If my choice is go to a move or clean my house, I’d rather sit in a dark theater, eat popcorn and watch a movie.  If my choice is hang out with Josh, or watch Makiah in a play or fold clothes, I’ll use clothes out of the laundry basket.  I can  find many, many excuses for not cleaning my house. 

I once heard a wise man say something like “You won’t keep your house clean until you get sick of it being dirty. “  He was right. I recently decided I’m tired of my messy house. During spring break, I started cleaning my house and worked on it really, really hard.  And it’s still mostly clean, which I’m very proud of.  Josh came upstairs to my house and said “Aunt Sandi, your house is looking pretty clean.” He actually said it with surprise in his voice, which I’m not exactly proud of. . .  I found a lot of stuff, threw a lot of stuff away and discovered some things.

Here’s  what I have discovered.

1. I have WAY too many books.

2.  I have too much stuff.

3. I have some really neat stuff. 

But here is my greatest discovery and I’m not really sure why NONE of my really good housekeeper friends ever shared this with me.

I have discovered the wonder that is a Magic Eraser.  It’s the coolest cleaning thing I’ve found.  I have no idea HOW it works, I just know it does.  You just wet it and scrub.  Eventually, it just sort of dissolves away.

If you haven’t used one, a magic eraser will clean just about anything.   The inside of a microwave, check.  A stovetop, check. The outside or inside of a fridge or freezer, check. A wall, check.  Faucets and a bathroom sink, sure. The inside and glass of a toaster oven, yep. . .  I haven’t found anything it WON’T clean.  In my experience,   the ones from the Dollar Tree (2 for a $1.00) seem to work best   Walmart’s version, mehhh.   I’ve never actually used a real Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.  I can’t imagine how good THEY are. 

So, my  new goal is to keep my house clean. My magic erasers make it easier.

Father’s Day

Today is Father’s Day – my first without my Daddy. That makes me sad.  I’ve been thinking about him a lot this week. . . and I miss him.

Last week I heard someone say that her dad was a pastor and he got up and preached on Sunday, but the rest of the week he was completely different. My daddy wasn’t like that. He was the same on Sunday and Monday and Tuesday and Thursday and Saturday. He was always the same. 

My sisters and I couldn’t have asked for a better dad.  Ours really, really was the best.  Our dad was patient and kind.  He took time for us and always saw good in people. He was almost naïve, in that he would pick up hitchhikers, and stop and help people on the side of the road.  He was a great dad.  He always gave people a second or third chance,  never carried a grudge and never had anything bad to say about people.

In the process of cleaning out some of his stuff, we  found several of his of his Bibles.  He wrote all over them, in his cramped, chicken-scratch handwriting. Some of the things he copied from Bible to Bible, every time he got a new one.  I could (and probably will) write several blog posts about the stuff he put in them.  I found this to be most interesting.  In the back of each Bible, he had one of my sisters copy this poem.  I have no idea where he got it, I’ve looked and looked to find an author and I can’t. I know it came from a  So here it is:

Papa’s Coming

He swung on the gate and looked down the street,

Awaiting the sound of familiar feet,

Then suddenly came to the sweet child’s eyes,

The marvelous glory of morning skies,

For a manly form with a steady stride,

Drew near to the gate that opened wide,

As the boy sprang forward and joyfully cried “ Papa’s coming.”

The wasted face of a little child,

Looked out of the window with eyes made wild.

By the ghostly shades in failing light,

And the glimpse of a drunk man in the night. 

Cursing and reeling from side to side,

The poor boy trembling and trying to hide,

Clung to his mother’s skirts and cried “Papa’s coming.”

 

There are things I know, and things I don’t know. I don’t know why that was so important to him. I don’t know who wrote it.  I do know that it came from the Sword of the Lord newsletter from the June 19, 1980 issue.   I do know that his father was a drunk, before it was politically correct to be called an alcoholic.   I do know that my dad never drank, ever for fear that he’d be like his dad.  I know that he never was like that – and that was important to him. 

Today in Junior Church, we made a little thing for dads.  On the outside, it said “My dad is the best dad because. . . “ and the kids put slips inside with reasons WHY their dad is a great dad. There are some great dads that I know, but my dad really was the best dad.  And that, I know. 

My Mom(s) ??

I was lucky to have a GREAT Mom. She was a pistol!  She wasn’t always easy, but she loved us and sacrificed a lot of things for us.  I never saw my mother sleep.  She was awake when we got up and was always awake when I went to bed.  She went to business college after I started school, and had a higher GPA than I did in college. My goal in graduate school was to have the same or higher GPA than she did.

I’ll never understand why God decided to take her early. I was certainly not ready to be a motherless child, even though I was an adult. I have to trust that He knew what He was doing, that He is always good and that His ways are not my ways.

 

That being said, Mother’s Day isn’t easy.Because I’m NOT a mother, and because I don’t have my mother with me any longer,  it makes me sad.  I have some dear, sweet friends who have lost their children, and my heart always hurts for them on Mother’s Day as well.  I think it must be harder for them than it is for me!

After my mom went to Heaven, my dad married again.  I was not really too excited about that and I’m not really good at hiding my feelings.   It’s been really, really hard to think of her as my step-mother.  But Ms. Betty took good care of my daddy.  She loved my daddy and he loved her – and that is good enough for me. I’m sorry I couldn’t get over myself earlier. 

But, like I said earlier, God is good. I have been blessed with lots of people who “mother me.”  The Ladies Auxiliary at my church has a group of ladies that take good care of me.  One of them hems my clothes for me and fixes them for me when I mess them up.   Another brings sandwiches to our meeting because she worries that I don’t eat supper before I come to our meeting.  They all LISTEN to me.  That’s the greatest thing. 

I have some other ladies from my Sunday School class who take care of me as well. One lady makes me pumpkin muffins, which she knows I love.  They make bows for me and make things look pretty when I can’t do it myself.  They LISTEN to me and give me advice.   They just take care of me.

I have another friend who is extra special.   She had a loss much greater than mine.  Her daughter Jennifer was my friend.   We didn’t have much in common, but the first time we met, it was like that “click” when you just KNOW.  She was one of the bravest people that I ever met in my life.  She accomplished some amazing things. She went to heaven three years ago this August.  Her mom Kathy is my friend too, which is slightly odd when you think about it.  But her mom has filled an empty spot for me. 

One day, after Jen passed away, her mom called me and asked me to do her a favor.  She said she needed something.  I told her I’d do whatever I could.  She said she needed a daughter. She missed having her daughter.  I told her I needed a mom. I missed having my mom. It seemed like a perfect match.

After my mom passed away, one of my wise friends told me: “It will get better. God will help that empty spot fill up. It won’t be the same, but it will be good.”  You know what, he’s exactly right.  I can’t replace Jennifer for Ms.Kathy and Mr. Donald.  They can’t replace my parents.  BUT,  I can help fill up their empty spot, just like they can help me fill up my empty spots.  Ms., Kathy listens to me when I’m whiney,  tells me when I’m being ridiculous and just need to stop and lets me know when I’m being irrational. Sometimes she has to tell me to get over myself.  I ask her for advice and help.  She helps me do all kinds of things. We measured flour and salt into Ziploc bags to make dough that would turn into Olympic medals. She bought and cut straws for me for our Mother’s Day craft tomorrow.  (My pumpkin muffin making friend experimented for me!)  Tomorrow, she’ll help me  hot glue.  

Mother’s Day is all about honoring mothers.  I’m thankful for Betty Jimmerson, my mother.  I’m also thankful for the other mothers that God has put in my life.