What makes “FAMILY?”

What makes family? Is it just sharing DNA with somebody? I don't think so. I have my "real" family, and my church family, and then some people I just love a whole bunch. Today my real family and I (my 2 sisters, my nephew Josh and my niece) had lunch/dinner with some friends in Lakeland that we have known forever, I guess. Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank (that's what EVERYBODY calls them) went to church with my parents when they moved to Lakeland in 1970. My dad and Brother Frank picked up kids on a church bus and worked in junior church together. For years, Brother Frank and Mrs. Rita didn't have any children. They wanted some, but it wasn't in the cards. So, they picked us. We were dirt poor (we three little girls didn't know it, but we were!) and basically, Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank invested their time and energy in us. It was actually in my parents will for years that if anything happened to them, we were supposed to go to Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank. After years and years, they decided to adopt a baby. So in September they got Courtney. Her name is actually Robyn Courtney, named after my oldest sister. Lo and behold, in April, they had Whitney. After years of being told no, no, not possible, apparently it was. So, they went from no babies to two in nine months. We moved to Auburndale before that, but always at Christmas and holiday, we always saw each other. Fast forward a few years, until I'm in college. A freshman at USF in Tampa, my sister lives in Auburndale in my parents' house and I hate living in a dorm. So, I move out of the dorm at Christmas and into the house with her. We start going back to church with Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank again. One Saturday, Mrs. Rita is telling us her frustrations with the girls after school situation. They are in first and second grade now. We stumble upon the perfect solution. I am driving back and forth to Tampa three times a week, I pick them up at school, take them home, so the homework routine, until she gets home. She is driving back and forth to Tampa to work and Brother Frank leaves for work at 2:15. . It's perfect. This continues until I graduate from college. By this time, my sister has gone back to college and she takes over.

Time goes on, the girls don't need us anymore, we both start teaching, we change churches and don't see each other so much.

Then, we're sitting at the hospital in Marathon in the Keys waiting for the doctor to check our mom one more time. It's been three days, so today we have to tell him to turn off the machines. We hear something and look at the door, there's Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank. They drove hours to be with us. . We stand there together, around her bed. We pray, and we leave. A few minutes later, the doctor tells us it's over. So we cry and cry, together.

We go back to the rental vacation house. We have to get home, so while we pack up Mom and Daddy's stuff, Mrs. Rita starts to clean. By the time we're packed up, she's done. A few days later we call her and ask her the hardest thing ever, will she sing at our mom's funeral? She tells us that mom asked her to years ago, but she was hoping we'd forget. She can't promise she can do it, but she'll try. She can and she does. . .

One day, we get an invitation to a wedding in the mail. Whitney is getting married. Doesn't seem possible, but it is. Then, baby shower, then Courtney's wedding, baby number two for Whitney, then Courtney's baby shower. We see each other off and on again . . . but not nearly as often as we should.

Brother Frank and I share a birthday, so today we went to their house for lunch. I can't think how long it's been since I've been there, but it's amazing how it feels like home. We talked, laughed, ate, and tried to figure out how many hours we've spent in that house together. . . We can't even imagine. We catch up, watch the kids play, and wonder where the time went. We leave, promising that it won't be this long again.

What makes family? If it's blood and DNA, we're not related. If its memories and time spent together, and love between people, then today we had lunch with family.

The Wednesday Wars

I read an article not too long ago about the Newbery Awards. I follow "The Unquiet Library" on Twitter and read this article from their blog: "Has the Newbery Lost Its Way?" The article was written by Anita Silvey and was published in School Library Journal, Oct 2, 2008. Here's a link if you want to read the article: http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/article/CA6601546.html?nid=3242. In the article, that author starts with two examples of people who seemingly believe the Newbery Award has lost some of its luster. In case you don't know, the Newbery Award is given every year for the "most distinguished contribution to American literature for children." During the summers, I work on reading through the Newbery books, all of them. I'm about 1/3 of the way through. Every year the ALSC (Association for Library Service to Children, part of the ALA) chooses the Newbery Medal winner and several Newbery Honor books. The Medal winner gets a gold seal, and the honor books get a silver seal. There is a list of current and past winners here: http://tinyurl.com/6cr7xy

I haven't read this year's winner yet, but today I read the Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt, which is a Newbery Honor book. I can't imagine how good the winner must be, for this to be an honor book. It is fabulous! I read a LOT of children's books and this is the best one I've read in a long time. It's so good; I read it all in one sitting. We got back from my niece's soccer game at about 1:45 and I was going to read a little bit and take a nap. I had no nap, but I've finished the entire book already. It made me laugh and cry, all at the same time. It is just a wonderful, wonderful story of growing up, realizing the people we most expect to do the right thing don't always do it, but that sometimes unexpectedly, we find what we need in others. It's about being wrong, admitting it, and loving each other in spite of ourselves, and in spite of them. It's just a great book.

Sorry, ten minutes later. We just had some excitement in our neighborhood. The police, deputies, and state troopers are chasing some guy in a truck, and he chose to drive down my street. He cut through an alley, and hit two parked cars, right across from my street. The Sheriff's department helicopter just flew over, and all my neighbors are out in the street. One guy, in a truck, running from six or eight law enforcement people. Does he really think they won't catch him??? I just hope he doesn't hurt anybody else. . . Whew.

 

 

Is it wrong to wonder why?

    I heard some distressing news on Friday. A lady at our church unexpectedly passed away. This same family lost a daughter to leukemia, a son had a terrible car accident, nearly died, went through months of rehab, and now this. It just doesn't seem fair or right at all. I don't get it.

    Then, yesterday on Saturday, I went to my niece's birthday party. Ten years ago, my sister had to have a C-section to deliver this tiny little four and a half pound, seven-week early baby. (She ended up being born two days before my birthday – what a great gift I got that year!) We thought she was the prettiest thing we'd ever seen, but looking at the pictures now, maybe not so much. She was a skinny baby, and we're more used to babies with fat little thighs and round cheeks just made for kissing. She did turn in to one of those babies, but at first, she wasn't. The tip of my forefinger covered the entire palm of her hand, her foot – the length of my pinkie finger. She was tiny, like holding a breath of air. It was possible to hold her literally, in one hand. Now, she is such a great kid – and I don't just say that because I'm her aunt. She's smart, (only missed four questions total on her FCAT test last year) she just started playing soccer, which she loves, she loves her dance class, she's so pretty, and she's a sweet girl. She loves her teacher at school, and loves to help her, she is nice to new kids at church and school, and she loves to bake goodies for Mr. Harvey, one of her favorite men at church. Yesterday, after being hit with the astounding news about the death of our friend, I watched her and her friends at her birthday party. I watched the big girls, especially Abby; take care of the two little girls. I watched girls from church make new friends and talk to girls from school. I watched them all play together; some dressed up in their Pixie Princess party attire. It was good. It was good for my heavy heart.

    Then, I left the party, to attend the wedding of a former student who is also the daughter of a friend from work. I watch Maggie and David dance, watched Randy, Maggie's dad dance with her in her wedding dress, watched David dance with his mom. I watched my friend try not to cry as she watched her baby get married and I thought where does the time go. It seems like just yesterday Maggie was 12 and in my class, struggling to learn new things, and going through the struggles and trials of most middle schoolers. Today, she is Mrs. Booth. I wondered, how quickly will this be my girl, my sweet little four and a half pound baby? I watched the celebration and thought, "This is good." It was good for my heavy heart.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, the Bible says: 

    To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:

     A time to be born, And a time to die;
    A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;

     A time to kill, And a time to heal;
    A time to break down, And a time to build up;

     A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
    A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

Yesterday was both a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

McDonald’s French Fries and other random thoughts

One thing I love about blogging is that I can just ramble on about anything and it's OK. I guess if somebody doesn't want to read it, feel free to click somewhere else. So, here are some completely random thoughts for today.

1. Is there anything in the world as good to eat as hot, fresh, McDonald's French fries? I don't think so. Wait a minute, let me back up – the grits I ate in London may have been pretty close. Maybe it's just my approximately 12-year-old palate, but I really, really, love those fries. I was at school late today, too many papers to grade, too much work to do and it was raining and of course, I have two umbrellas in my car, but NONE in my classroom, so on the way home it was late and I was hungry so I ate early. I just happened to have a book of McDonald's gift certificates in my purse, so why not? That first fry. . . Yummy! The second and thirds ones, Ok, the entire serving, they were just perfect. Now, I have a million things I should be doing, reading chapters, figuring out a fold-able for continents and oceans, and instead, here I sit blogging about French fries.

2. Media certification test – My friend Robyn and I passed our media certification tests on Saturday. Yay for us. We were a little stressed for several reasons. A) We weren't sure we knew enough to pass yet. B) No pressure but FSU has a 100% passing rate on that test. I was afraid I would be the first one not to pass. I mean we can take it again, but still. Nothing like being reminded that our school is the "#1 ranked program in the US and Canada for youth services and #5 for school media." That's fantastic, but while I was sitting there waiting for my test questions to start rolling up, I still felt like throwing up. But we both passed, which makes three out of our group of five in our county. Our other two friends take it later this month. According to the state, I can now (when the paperwork is done) work as a certified media specialist, without the degree. Of course we still go back to that "don't know enough about what I'm doing thing." We have to finish the two classes we have right now, do an internship and one more class, and then we are done. In some ways it seems like it's been forever and in some ways it feels like we "only just begun."

3. Bills and bills – I hate paying my bills. It's not the draining of my bank account, although that is certainly not fun. I just hate the time it takes to do it. I always feel like I could be doing something so much more fun.

4. Politics – I hate it. Can't we just vote and get it over with? Teaching 6^th grade is lovely – political thoughts from 12-year olds. . . Scary thought, right? I've decided that if somebody running for office can't tell me why I should vote for him/her without telling me how bad, evil, and rotten the other person(s) are, I don't want to vote for them. . .Oh I guess that means I don't get to vote at all ever again! That's a joke, of course, I'll vote – can I vote D) none of the above??

5. Nora Roberts – Nora Roberts is one of my favorite authors. I accidently picked up a book of hers that I've already read and started reading it the other day in a weak moment. I know, I know, I should be reading chapters and articles on the organization of information and managing information organizations. I am, I am, but I just have to read something more fun. I love how she (Nora Roberts) writes trilogies because I like the people in them and one book just isn't enough. I love that the women in her books are always bright and funny, not stupid and bland. These are women I'd like to hang out with, seriously. In addition, her men. . . Sorry, drifted off there for a minute. There are such good stories in her books. I can't believe how prolific she is, and how many books she manages to write. My sister once said that inside my head must be a scary place, because of the way things just pop out of my mouth. I'd like to take a peek inside Nora Robert's head. . I can't imagine how she manages to create all these characters and keep them straight and yet still give them so much personality. BTW, the book I'm re-reading (for the third time I think) is Blood Brothers. It is part of the Sign of Seven Trilogy, the second book "The Hollow" came out in March. Book three "The Pagan Stone" comes in December, hopefully after the FSU semester is over. That's probably an all night, get it read it right away book.

All right, enough random thought for now. Chapters and articles are glaring at me from across the desk. To work, to work!

The Graduate school diet – I don’t recommend it

It is 10:23 and I just ate a strawberry pop tart for dinner. The other night I was eating Publix Chicken Corn Chowder at 10:45. I can't decide what's more embarrassing – how late I'm eating, or the fact that I have the palate of a 12 year old. Graduate school is so bad for my eating habits. I've never been a good cook, although I love cooking tools from the Pampered Chef and have LOTS of them. If I ever do decide to cook, I've got the right stuff to use. It's just easier, when it's just me, to eat quick, easy things. However, since I started working on my Master's degree from FSU, I've started eating horrible things, and on a horrible schedule and I don't know what to do about it. Sometimes I ask my friend Robyn what she is fixing her family for dinner and try to live vicariously through her dinner options. I know it's not good for me to eat peanut butter M & M's for supper. I eat cereal quite a bit, which is not too bad, except when I choose Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. (Again, that 12-year-old palate thing.) I eat a lot of things that are hand-held or at least portable, and I don't eat at the table often enough. I eat with one hand and highlight (or type) with the other. I eat my pop-tarts on paper plates, that way I don't have to wash a plate. I know that's pitiful, but who has time to stand at the sink washing dishes? Not me, with six articles and two chapters for each class waiting for me! I just keep thinking, not much longer, not much longer. My digestive system will be glad when I'm finished.

Kudos to my friends, Kerry and Tommy

Twice recently, I've had the pleasure of attending a party for some of my friends. My father is a pastor, and so lots of people that I know are in full time Christian service. In August, and then today, I was invited to attend a pastor friends anniversary party at his church. Last month, my friend Kerry who pastors at Lone Oak Baptist Church in Plant City (his wife Laquita is my very best friend) celebrated 10 years at his church, and I just got back from my friend Tommy's church, First Thonotosassa Missionary Baptist Church, and his 15^th anniversary celebration. I've been thinking about those things a lot lately, and I just can't explain how proud I am of these two guys.

Being a pastor is hard work, if you do it right. If anybody ever says pastoring is easy, they are either fibbing or they aren't doing it properly. I grew up in a pastor's home, so I have some perspective that most people probably don't. Basically, a pastor is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's not just two hours on Sunday, and an hour on Wednesday night. To be in the same church for that length of time, is pretty impressive. No church is perfect, and no pastor is perfect, but when it's the right match, it's a great thing.

It seems like so many things in our life are disposable. If we don't like it, if it breaks, just throw it away and get a new one. People leave jobs because they don't like their boss, they leave a marriage because it gets difficult, we quit when the going gets tough. I can't imagine how many time in the 25 total years Kerry and Tommy have been at their churches, how many times they wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. But they didn't. I don't know what it is that makes some people just stick it out, and some people quit and go on.

I told Tommy's church tonight, and I wish I could tell Kerry's church, how much it means to me to see their churches love and honor my friends. It's a wonderful thing to know that my friends, who give so much of themselves to their church members, are loved and respected by those same church members. I'm so glad that the people at Lone Oak and Thonotosassa love my friends, and recognize the commitment that these men had made.

Kerry and Tommy

I love my church!

Every now and then, something happens that makes me think of things that I know, but don't often think about or verbalize. I was hit with one of these last night and today, of how much I love my church. My church is 80-something years old, and I had known "of" my church all my life, way before it was my church. I have been a member of my church for 10 years. That's easy for me to remember, because my friends son Noah was born a week before or week after I joined my church and Noah just turned ten in August. I use Noah's birthday as my anniversary date at my church. By the way, my church is First Missionary Baptist Church in Auburndale. (http://www.firstmbc.com) I was reminded again how much I love my church on Friday night, when I sat with Pastor Price at the AHS football game. A local tradition is that after half time the cheerleaders throw little plastic footballs into the crowd. Different business help pay for the footballs and the organization gets their name printed on footballs. I don't know how or why this was started but they've done in here in Auburndale as long as I can remember, even when my sisters were in high school – and one graduated in 1980 and one in 1983. Some of the footballs Friday night on Friday night said "First Missionary Baptist Church." How cool is that? Mr. Jimmy (as my niece calls him) who is our Youth Pastor was also at the game. It is amazing to watch high school age kids wave and yell "Hi Pastor!" I bet they will remember for a long time that their Pastor was at their game.

Today, our church hosted what we hope becomes an annual event the "Auburndale Sportsman's Expo." Most of the planning went on while I was in London this summer, so I came back not knowing anything about it. I guess this was the brainchild of Pastor Will, who is our Associate Pastor. Pastor Will and his wife Amy are some of my most favorite people in the whole world. I know that's not grammatically correct, but it is very true. This thing today was HUGE! There were guest speakers and prizes, auctions, booths, barbeque, exhibits, and a special area for kids. . . It was amazing. I heard someone ask the guys at the registration table what they owed our church for coming. They couldn't believe it when they were told nothing. Then, they asked what our church was getting from all this, again the guy said nothing – just an opportunity to give people some time with their friends and family and a chance to let us minister to your needs. How can I not love my church? I watched all the volunteers from my church run around everywhere today, doing all sorts of jobs from parking cars to serving food to passing out prizes and taking tickets. I was reminded of the passage in 1 Corinthians Chapter 12, when Paul is talking about how every part of the body is important, and no part is more important than any other is. Every job today was important and it made me sad that my life is so caught up in my job and my schoolwork for FSU that I didn't have a job, and didn't even have time to know what a big deal this was. I heard that the guy who was there from the Bass Pro Shop said to go ahead and put him on the list for next year. Me too – put me on the list. Next year, I want one of those orange shirts.

 

P. S. Check out all the incredible decorating the ladies from my church created. That's another thing on my list for whenever this Master's degree is done – I want to be on the decorating crew!
P.S. again - I left my card from my camera at my sister's house. I'll have to add those pictures tomorrow!