Kindness–and a disclaimer

Disclaimer first:  I know my blog is called “At Least We’re Not Being Bombed by the Nazis.”  It’s a reminder to myself about perspective.  During the Blitz in London during World War II, people went about their daily lives, lived with rationing and many, many inconveniences, AND were being bombed by the Nazis. But they survived.  My family is going through a difficult time right now – it’s not pleasant and it’s not nice. BUT, it could be worse. We could be going through this same struggle and have bombs falling on us.    Lately, my blog posts haven’t reflected that. 

 

Kindness:  I read this quote today: The end result of kindness is that it draws people to you.  It’s a quote by   Anita Roddick
and I got it from www.brainyquote.com 

My family has been inundated with kindness in the last few weeks.  I shouldn’t be surprised – as my father is one of the most kind people I’ve ever known in my life.  It appears his kindness to others is coming full circle. 

The air conditioner at his house broke, some dear friends paid to have it fixed.  He and Mrs. Betty’s dryer died – they were washing at their house but taking their clothes to the laundry room of their mobile home village for the dryer. Not a problem, just a pain.   Someone from their church brought them a new dryer.  Their church took up a love offering for them.  (For those who don’t know, it’s an offering just because y0u love someone!)  The people from Lockwood Baptist Church have just showered Daddy and Mrs. Betty with kindness. People bring them food  (Daddy ate all the lime Jell-O by the way, and didn’t share at all!) they have been sending cards and visiting.  People who don’t even know him are praying for him – and LOTS of people who do are praying too!

And it’s not just my daddy and his church. This summer, I made many trips up and down my stairs – and  two “trips.”  The first trip,  I went down on my backside and last week, I went face first.  My steps are outside and under a tree, both times they’ve been slick with rain and tree gunk.  Today, two men from my church came and pressure washed my steps – they look brand new and all the tree gunk is gone. Last week, my sweet friend Cindy made too much pasta for dinner – and she brought me some, complete with a fork and a baby Coke.  When she brought it, it was still warm.   My pastor’s wife gave everyone at our church who teaches or works in a school a special treat for the first day of school.

I’m overwhelmed. People don’t have to do these things, but they do it anyway.  I’m so afraid that in the hustle and bustle of my life, I don’t always do kind things for people when I have the chance.   I want to be different, I want to be a person who thinks of others and acts on those thoughts. Lord, please help me to be kind and thank you for those people in my life who are such great examples of kindness.  I’m truly blessed.  

Faith of My Father

There’s an old hymn called “Faith of our Fathers.”  I’ve never been particularly fond of it and it’s never been a favorite. Today all I could think of was the title of that song.

We spent the day with our dad today. We were worried about both he and Mrs. Betty, his wife.   We worry about her being exhausted from taking care of him, which is one of the reasons we suggested he become a hospice patient – to give her some rest, some relief and some support.  We’re worried about him all the time.

Every time we see Daddy, he seems to get more and more weak. He’s lost a lot of weight, and his arms and legs and shoulders are all skinny – more skinny than  I’ve ever seen them in my entire life. The only thing on him that’s big is his belly, and it’s bigger or smaller, depending on when he last paracentisis was.  (That’s when they drain his belly, as the bile builds up, his belly gets larger and larger.) On Wednesday, they drained 11.5 liters of fluid off his belly. That’s about 23 pounds.  Every time they drain him, he’s weak and tired afterwards and he’s wobbly when he walks. I think it has to do with the weakness and his center of gravity. I imagine a pregnant woman would tell you the same thing – that your balance shifts.

Today, he was in bed when we got there, because he and Mrs. Betty were up almost every hour during the night.  The site where they did his last paracentisis is draining.  Apparently the tiny needle hole where they poked him has not sealed up and the fluid that usually builds up is just oozing out.  Almost all night, almost every hour, Mrs. Betty was having to get him up, change his dressing and change his clothes, because he’d soaked all the way through sometimes.  

When he got up to eat, he prayed over his bowl of “green salad.”(That’s a family joke, sometimes it’s not green. It’s a jello, fruit salad and it’s been pink or orange, but Daddy always calls it green salad, no matter what color it is. He’s color blind, so for  him it’s always green.)

This was his prayer:  “Thank you God for being good.  Please  help those people who are sick and in bad shape, Thank you for loving me.”

I sat there and was ashamed – and I’ll tell you why.  I’m not handling him being sick very well.  I’m not happy about it at all, and my first emotional response to a new situation is usually to get mad.  I have been making a mental list of people who have lived many more years that my daddy who are not nearly as nice and as GOOD as he is.   I’ve also spent lots of time asking “Why him?” His whole life, he’s been a good guy. He’s spent 44 years trying to do exactly what God wanted him to do.  It’s not fair and I hate it. 

But here’s the thing --  I know the answer – the answer is “why  not him” and I get that, I do. I just don’t like it.  But here he sat today, in his 4th or 5th set of pajama pants for the day, with fluid leaking out of his belly, worrying every time he moved just right that it would  soak through the pads and wet his clothes.  The most modest  man in the world had to endure his nurse daughter helping him change his clothes.   He’s been poked and prodded and spent time in the hospital, had to wear water shoes because his regular shoes won’t fit, had to wear suspenders because his belly is so big his pants won’t stay up.  All that and he says “Thank you God for being good. Help those people who are sick and in bad shape.” 

I’m thankful every day for the faith of my father.

Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

Have you ever known things you wish you didn’t?  I have a new situation in my life that is teaching me things that I could have happily lived my whole life without knowing.  Let me explain.

Earlier this year, my daddy was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. The first thing I learned was how to spell cirrhosis.  It’s particularly nasty for him, because he has NEVER been a drinker.  He grew up with a drunk father and that experience has kept him from drinking any sort of alcohol.  It’s like an extra insult for him to have this disease. 

Next, we learned that is was probably caused from a fatty liver – which the doctors think can be hereditary. So my sisters and I need to watch how much red meat we eat, because we could have a fatty liver as well.  Yay.

We visited a heptologist – yep, your spell check won’t like that word.  A heptologist is a liver expert – different from a gastroenterologist or a hematologist.  We’ve been to both the gastroenterologist and the heptologist.

Lactulose is a nasty looking and apparently nasty tasting medicine that my daddy has to drink several times a day. It’s this yellow stuff that is supposed to help him get rid of ammonia in his body.  I didn’t even realize ammonia could build up in a body. . . but it does and it can make you confused.  So confused you forget what you want to eat at the Cracker Barrel, even if it’s your favorite place in the whole world.

Paracentisis is yet another new word.  Because of the cirrhosis, fluid builds up in my daddy’s abdomen. (Sometimes we are fancy and use the word abdomen instead of “belly’ or “gut” just for fun!) He gains lots of weight very quickly – all in his belly.  His arms and legs have gotten really skinny, but he often has to wear suspenders to hold up his pants. When this happens, he has to have paracentisis.  I could make you use context clues to figure out what it means, but I’ll just tell you. It’s when they drain his belly. This week, they took 11.5 liters of fluid.  Two weeks ago, they took 11.  Needless to say, his weight changes drastically.

At the beginning of August, Daddy became a patient of the Hospice of the Comforter.  The main purpose is to help them  out, they were spending a ridiculous amount of time driving from doctor to doctor – now the nurse comes to them.  It’s been a good thing I think for them, but I gotta say, I’m not thrilled with the situation. I want my daddy to be healthy and happy. I don’t want to NEED to know these words and these procedures. I read a quote once that says something like “When we stop learning, we stop living.”  This is stuff I never wanted to know.  

Be Still!!

 

Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God.

“Stop your fighting—and know that I am God.

Be still, and know that I am God:

Be still, be calm, see, and understand I am the True God.

Give ye attention, and see ye, that I am God

My mother and father told me to “be still” a million times in my life, usually in church. So I’ve heard it forever, why am I still fighting so hard?

I’m having a hard time being still. I keep trying to help. He doesn’t need my help – I need His.

Lord, please help me to be still and let you be in charge. 

A dead snake can’t hurt you. . . or can it??

Here is my dumb deed for the day.  Of course, I have to give you the background story, can’t just jump right in. We have a detached garage that is in questionable shape. We’ve had baby kittens, big old tomcats, probably all kinds of stuff in our garage. That is where our washer is, so we have to go to the garage to do laundry.  My sister and I have both seen a  snake in our garage.  She saw it first and I told her it probably wasn’t really a snake, and then I saw it too!! I had to apologize. 

So today I discovered a dead snake on our driveway. It’s a little snake and it’s dead.   I have no idea what kind of snake it is and I don’t really care, I’m just glad it is DEAD. I walked past it once and didn’t see it, then on the way OUT of the garage, I saw it. I poked it with my shoe and realized it was dead.  So of course I had to take a picture of it.

Of course, I took the picture so it looks much bigger than it really is. It’s only about 2 inches across.  I haven’t moved it because I had to show it to Josh and Robyn when she gets home. 

So here comes the dumb part. I hurt my shoulder back in September, playing Tug of War at AWANA.  It’s gotten much better, but every now and then it twinges, mostly when I stretch a certain way. (Putting stuff in the back seat of the car while I’m driving hurts TERRIBLY. You know, like the slapping the kid in the back seat move.)   Today I’m carrying the laundry basket of of clean clothes back into the house. . . meaning I’ve already walked past the dead snake multiple times.   I look down, see it, KNOWING IT’S THERE and it scared me to death. I jumped, twisted and  almost dropped the laundry basket.  And of course it was the hurt shoulder.  It twinged, hurt and now I’m putting the cold pack on it again. I mean honestly, I’ve seen it like 10 times today. Really?? My daddy has said before that a lot of things wont’ hurt us, but they will surely cause us to hurt ourselves. He’s exactly right!!

Things I wish I could say to parents

I read a really funny email one time about comments that teachers WISH we could put on report cards.   It’s hysterical – you can read a similar post here: http://tinyurl.com/lfsh5se

Today I finished my 19th year teaching. I hope and pray daily that I can make it to retirement, but sometimes I wonder.   I send home a letter at the beginning of the year to parents, and I have a mental letter that I wish I could send home.  Here it is:

 

Dear Parents,

Today your child starts 6th grade and entered my class for the first time. I’m very excited and hope you are too. This will be a  big year full of changes for your child, so brace yourself. Here are some things you need to know about my class, about me and about middle schoolers in general.

1. Your child behaves differently when you’re not around – and your child WILL do things when they are with their friends that YOU don’t think they will do.

 

2.  Your child will most likely fib to avoid trouble.  It’s the nature of the beast. . .

3. Why would I lie about or want to hurt your child?  Why do you think I do this job –f or the fabulous  pay, the amazing support and because it’s such a respected position?  Oh yes, you think I do it for the three months of summer??

4.  Your child may be one of the few who comes home and does their homework every day with no complaints, and turns it in, with their name on it all the time.  But they may not be either – which means it either

A) may not be complete.

B) may not have been turned in

or

C) may not have had their name on it.

 

5. It is YOUR job, not mine to make sure that your student has supplies at school.

6. You are not doing your child a favor when  you speak badly about his or her teachers  and they hear you.  Or dropping whatever you are doing to bring your child’s __________________  to school.

(insert your own item in the blank – PE clothes, homework, binder, etc.)  They can live without it today and it may help them be more responsible tomorrow.

7.  There is a line between advocating for  your child and making excuses for your child.

8.  Please, please do not be your child’s friend.  Most of your child’s issues w ill come from their friends, and they have enough of those. Be your child’s PARENT.

9. In our county, we have a tool called the Parent Viewer. Sign up and use it. It’s free – you can see your kid’s grade at any time. Please don’t be surprised when your sweet baby has not turned in 3 of 6 homework assignments and then has a bad grade. BUT, please do not fuss when your angel still has a 95 for the quarter, but did badly on one assignment and got a 50%.  Everybody has bad days sometimes.  Look at the whole grade, not EVERY, SINGLE assignment. 

10.  My classroom is not a dance club, it’s not a beauty parlor or hair salon and it’s not the Dating Game.  I don’t want to see hair brushing or picking, any of my students “shaking what their momma gave them” or hugging, kissing or hanging onto anybody else.

11.  If your child gets their way at home by asking you the same thing over and over and over again, that doesn’t work for me.  It just makes me more determined NOT to give them their way.

12. There are certain parts of your kids body I should not EVER see.  I don’t want to see armpits, bosoms, belly buttons  or butt cracks.

13.  There are certain words that are NEVER appropriate in my classroom. I will never say them to your child and your child needs to NEVER say them to me either.  I don’t care if it’s OK with you at your house, and if you don’t care if you child says the F-word, but it is NOT OKAY to EVER say that word in my classroom.

14. I want your child to be nice. Nice to me, nice to other students, nice to my classroom. Just be nice.

Teacher Appreciation Week

I made a comment earlier that needs some explanation. I said “Just for the record worst teacher appreciation week ever!!!!!!” “Sandi, you’ve got some ‘splaining to do.”

Most of the time I feel like being a teacher is an honorable profession and that what I do is important enough to get up for every day.  May is a hard month for teachers – we’re done with our FCAT so the kids think we’re done, we’re all tired and everything seems to be too much right now.

So this week in May usually gives me a bit of a boost, a reminder that what I do every day is GOOD.  I get those warm, fuzzy feelings and it gives me the energy to keep on for the rest of the year.

Not so much this year. We’ve gotten our little gifts from our administration, we had a luncheon today, which was lovely, but I’m just not FEELING it.

I have one class this year that is challenging to say the least. The days I wake up with this class, I often wake up with a headache.  It’s just stress, but I can’t seem to get over it.  It’s not my biggest class, and it’s not horrible kids. It’s just a strange combination of kids. It didn’t start out this way, but I realized that out of the 21 students in the class, only 6 were in my class the first day of school. It’s utterly exhausting and it just sucks the energy right out of me. This class makes me feel completely incompetent and like the worst teacher ever.  Nothing works and it frustrates me that I can’t get through to them.

I also had a situation this week where I felt like I was kind of left hanging out on a limb.  All I could think was that 10 minutes of support would have gone a lot more to make me feel appreciated than the candy in my mailbox.  (Not that I don’t love candy, but still.)

I just keep thinking it will all be over soon. I only have that class 8 more times. I can make it. Right??