So today, 11 years ago. We – Daddy, Robyn, Patti and I had to meet with the doctor and tell him to unplug the machines. I have to say, we had no issues with what we told him. We didn’t like it, but we have NO guilt or no regret for that. It wasn’t what we wanted, but we KNEW it was what she wanted.
We were in the hospital waiting for the doctor, looked down the hallway and saw a wonderful sight. We saw some dear, dear friends coming down the hallway. Frank and Rita Newberry and Jim Elliott, who had been friends with my parents since 1970, had driven all the way to the Keys to be with us. It was unbelievable. My sisters and I were worried about our Daddy. We had each other, but he didn’t have anyone – but they showed up! We stood in a circle around Momma’s bed, we prayed, and walked out. The doctor came in, did his thing and in just a few minutes he told us she was gone.
We went back to the rental house, and packed up to go home. Mrs. Rita is a cleaning machine, and she started cleaning and packing. It wasn’t much longer than an hour or two and we were on the way home. It was a LONG drive home. I rode with Robyn and her boys and Patti rode with Daddy. Robyn and I would pop up with random things, we’d cry a little, then keep on. Robyn said “You know we’re gonna have to play that song.” I said “ I know.” My mom had told us for YEARS she wanted the “Hallelujah Chorus” played at her funeral.
As we rode home the strangest thing was – the world just kept on spinning. Kids were going home from school, getting off the bus, and everybody else just went on like normal. Our world was completely off-kilter and everybody else was just having another day. That was the hardest thing to get.
I’ve written before about how much I love Steven Curtis Chapman – here is one reason why. The only thing I could think of was a song of his. The chorus goes like this:
“We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again”
The second verse says:
“And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done”
You can read the rest of the lyrics here: http://stevencurtischapman.com/node/261
(and you can hear part of the song. I love him – you can buy it on iTunes!)
Another Bible verse kept popping into my head – “. . . that you sorrow NOT, as those who have NO HOPE. . .”
I know as much as anyone can know about someone else, that my mom is with Jesus. I don’t know why He needed her more than I do, but I have to trust that His ways are higher than my ways and that He works everything for our good.
So today, 11 years later, I cry with hope. I ache with hope ‘cause I KNOW our goodbye was not the end. Oh no! We said goodbye with hope, knowing we’ll see her face again!
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