Tonight and two years ago. . .

I just (Okay a little while ago) got home from the Women of Faith Loved Tour. It was absolutely fabulous – great speakers, wonderful music and lots of fun with ladies from my church.  We had a great concert by Building 429, but when they started singing this song, I started what my friend Debbie calls “ugly crying.” 

(If you think about it, you probably get ugly crying.  That’s the kind that rips out of you, not just one little tear trickling down, but the full blown red-eye, snotty nose, achy throat, boo-hooing that you hate to do in front of people.) 

Two years ago today was one of the worst days of my life.  I had the best sleep that I’d had in a week, but throughout this night and into early tomorrow morning, my Daddy would slip away from us to Heaven.  It was an experience I’ll never forget and I wouldn’t have missed it, but it was also one that I never would have chosen if I’d been given a choice. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but I know what I mean. 

So today, on Saturday, I’m sitting in the Amway Center and they start singing this song. And it made me cry.  Why would this song make me cry? Here’s why:  Two years ago, in  the Spring, we found out my Daddy had liver disease and it couldn’t be fixed. We all need our liver and his was sick.  So nearly every Saturday for several months, my sister and I would drive over to Winter Springs to visit our Daddy, and give Mrs. Betty a break.  We went at different times, sometimes in my car, sometimes in hers, but almost every Saturday.  EVERY single time we got in the car to drive over, this song would play on the  Joy FM, before we got to Daddy’s house.  Every single Saturday, while we were in the car on the way to see Daddy we heard this song. EVERY. SINGLE. SATURDAY 

Part of the song says:

“ All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I'm not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong,”

(You can hear it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=he32vwlKQPY

This is not how we heard it tonight.  Tonight 10,000 women were helping them sing!)

 

I don’t know why my Daddy got liver disease.  I don’t know why he couldn’t go to sleep and peacefully just drift off to Heaven. I don’t know why he had to have all those medical issues at the end.   There’s a lot I don’t know. 

But there’s some things I do know.   I  have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is he’s at home now. 

This wasn’t where he belonged any more. 

He left this world and he saw Jesus.

He is where he belongs.

So tonight, when the band sang this song, I ugly cried – but  I still sang at the top of my lungs.  And tomorrow, I’ll think about  my Daddy all day – and I may or may  not be done with the ugly crying!   But I know where he is and I know I’ll see him again.  And he won’t have liver disease and there will be no more ugly crying!