What makes family? Is it just sharing DNA with somebody? I don't think so. I have my "real" family, and my church family, and then some people I just love a whole bunch. Today my real family and I (my 2 sisters, my nephew Josh and my niece) had lunch/dinner with some friends in Lakeland that we have known forever, I guess. Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank (that's what EVERYBODY calls them) went to church with my parents when they moved to Lakeland in 1970. My dad and Brother Frank picked up kids on a church bus and worked in junior church together. For years, Brother Frank and Mrs. Rita didn't have any children. They wanted some, but it wasn't in the cards. So, they picked us. We were dirt poor (we three little girls didn't know it, but we were!) and basically, Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank invested their time and energy in us. It was actually in my parents will for years that if anything happened to them, we were supposed to go to Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank. After years and years, they decided to adopt a baby. So in September they got Courtney. Her name is actually Robyn Courtney, named after my oldest sister. Lo and behold, in April, they had Whitney. After years of being told no, no, not possible, apparently it was. So, they went from no babies to two in nine months. We moved to Auburndale before that, but always at Christmas and holiday, we always saw each other. Fast forward a few years, until I'm in college. A freshman at USF in Tampa, my sister lives in Auburndale in my parents' house and I hate living in a dorm. So, I move out of the dorm at Christmas and into the house with her. We start going back to church with Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank again. One Saturday, Mrs. Rita is telling us her frustrations with the girls after school situation. They are in first and second grade now. We stumble upon the perfect solution. I am driving back and forth to Tampa three times a week, I pick them up at school, take them home, so the homework routine, until she gets home. She is driving back and forth to Tampa to work and Brother Frank leaves for work at 2:15. . It's perfect. This continues until I graduate from college. By this time, my sister has gone back to college and she takes over.
Time goes on, the girls don't need us anymore, we both start teaching, we change churches and don't see each other so much.
Then, we're sitting at the hospital in Marathon in the Keys waiting for the doctor to check our mom one more time. It's been three days, so today we have to tell him to turn off the machines. We hear something and look at the door, there's Mrs. Rita and Brother Frank. They drove hours to be with us. . We stand there together, around her bed. We pray, and we leave. A few minutes later, the doctor tells us it's over. So we cry and cry, together.
We go back to the rental vacation house. We have to get home, so while we pack up Mom and Daddy's stuff, Mrs. Rita starts to clean. By the time we're packed up, she's done. A few days later we call her and ask her the hardest thing ever, will she sing at our mom's funeral? She tells us that mom asked her to years ago, but she was hoping we'd forget. She can't promise she can do it, but she'll try. She can and she does. . .
One day, we get an invitation to a wedding in the mail. Whitney is getting married. Doesn't seem possible, but it is. Then, baby shower, then Courtney's wedding, baby number two for Whitney, then Courtney's baby shower. We see each other off and on again . . . but not nearly as often as we should.
Brother Frank and I share a birthday, so today we went to their house for lunch. I can't think how long it's been since I've been there, but it's amazing how it feels like home. We talked, laughed, ate, and tried to figure out how many hours we've spent in that house together. . . We can't even imagine. We catch up, watch the kids play, and wonder where the time went. We leave, promising that it won't be this long again.
What makes family? If it's blood and DNA, we're not related. If its memories and time spent together, and love between people, then today we had lunch with family.
