Sometimes Christmas Makes Me Cry

Mandisa sings a song with Matthew West called “Sometimes Christmas Makes Me Cry.”   The chorus goes like this:

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I’ve been pretty verklempt lately and for a while, couldn’t figure out why.  I think I’ve got it now. 

Last week we had our Sunday School Christmas party. I’m the youngest person in the class and I used to think they just tolerated me! Now, they humor me and spoil me.  Last year at our Christmas party, we did the gift exchange thing where everybody gets a number and you choose presents in that order. When it’s your turn, you can either choose a new gift or take one that somebody else has already opened. I got this adorable set of bowls and tried very hard to just disappear.  I made it all the way to the end and then the second to last person took them from me! This year, they gave away “one special present” and they drew names to see who got it. It was me – and inside, was another set of those incredibly adorable bowls. It was all a set up – nobody else’s name was even in the drawing except me!! But, somebody remembered how much I loved those little bowls and took the time and energy to find another set. 

Yesterday at school I got this sweet little gift bag from one of my students.  Inside were pencils (what teacher doesn’t need more pencils??) and five little packages all wrapped up.  I opened one and saw a familiar orange and brown package. It is NO secret how much I love Reese’s peanut butter cups and this darling child wrapped them up like presents to put into my bag.  How sweet is that?? She also gave me a card that made me cry a little!!

My AWANA leaders gave me a card that made me cry Wednesday night. One of my boys in AWANA went out of his way to tell my leaders “thank you” for something and that almost made me cry again!   Today I was putting up Christmas ornaments, some of which were my Mom’s and I almost cried.    So what’s up with all this crying? 

I finally realized some of it - they say that it’s the thought that counts with presents and apparently, people think of me more than I know.   It’s actually very humbling – that other people think of me!

I think the last verse of the song says it best: 

I think of Mary and the virgin birth
And I’m amazed at how much God thinks we’re worth
That He would send His only Son to die
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think sometimes we forget how important we are to God – and how important we can be to other people and not even know it!  Maybe that’s why Christmas makes me cry!

My Favorite Things (Today)

My favorite things change daily. Today my favorite things are:

1) Pepperidge Farms Gingerman Cookies!  Is there anything as good? Crisp, crunchy, with those little sugar crystals on top!! When you open the package, that sweet, gingery smell comes out. UMMMM!  Sometimes I bite their heads off first and then gobble the rest of them, but sometimes I start with the feet.   I have to be careful or the whole little cupful disappears before I even know it!  Once upon a time, my friend Fred worked at Pepperidge Farms and for Christmas one year, he and his wife  gave me a 5 pound bag of broken and unsellable ones. It was fabulous!!!

                     

 

2)  My next favorite thing today is my Avalon “Joy” CD.  It was released in 2000, and some of the people aren’t even in the group anymore, but I love it. Apparently, I’m not the only one, I follow Sandi Patty on Twitter and she tweeted this today “The Pre game music is blaring in my dressing room. I cannot get ready without Avalon's JOY cd.”  I think that’s pretty impressive!  I can’t even decide which song is my favorite – I like all of them.  This is a “No Skipping” CD. I never skip any of them.  I do repeat some though – I repeat “Light a Candle” and “Good News” and the “Manger Medley.”  In the category of “Most Favorite” we have a tie – I’m torn between “Jesus Born On This Day” and “We Are The Reason.” I saw an Avalon Christmas concert once that was just absolutely wonderful and I think of that when I hear it!  I think I went with my friend Amy and we ate at the Cracker Barrel after the show!

Between my gingerman cookies and my Joy CD, I am happy right now! I think it’s the memories and the things I associate with other things that make them my favorites!

Favorite Christmas Songs

So, you already know I LOVE Christmas music. But even in that broad category, I have some favorites.  There some that I don’t enjoy at all, but that’s another story for another day.  Some I have a really good reason for loving, but some I don’t have a good reason. I’m never sure why some songs grab me and other ones just don’t.  We have a long running joke in our family about a particular “church” song I don’t like  and nobody understands why.

But, it’s the Christmas season so here are my favorite Christmas songs.  I don’t think any of these will ever be in a hymnal under “Christmas Songs” but I don’t care!   One more thing, these are in no particular order – I don’t know if I have a number one favorite, I just love all of these. 

Sing Noel by Newsong – It’s on the Christmas Shoes album, but I love this one better than the Christmas Shoes. I want to hear the Christmas Shoes every year, but it makes me cry. Sing Noel makes me happy!! I can’t listen to it just once, EVER!  I love the end where the whole rhythm changes and the words are:

 Rejoice for God is with us
Rejoice, Immanuel!
Rejoice and sound those trumpets
Rejoice and ring those bells
Rejoice to the King of Glory
And again we say rejoice
He is the Wonderful Counselor
The Prince of Peace

Celebrate The Child by Michael Card. Not your typical Christmas carol, but I just love it.    I can’t tell you anything else about this song, but I like it a LOT. The electric guitars and saxophones make it not so typical! 

Avalon’s Joy:  Light A Candle and a remake of David Meese’s We Are The Reason.  Don’t Save It All For Christmas Day is a great one too! 

I love Point of Grace singing Not That Far From Bethlehem and my friend Cindy sang it in church yesterday and I missed it!

Selah’s Light of the Stable is another favorite! 

Christmas Like a Child by Third Day from the Christmas Offerings CD.  I hate it when Christmas can feel like a burden and when I’m so busy I miss the joy of the whole season.  Doesn’t this exactly capture how we feel sometimes?

I want to feel Christmas, how it used to be
With all of its wonder falling on me
This season has felt so empty, oh for quite a while
I want to feel Christmas like a child

Okay, now for something completely different:  Bon Jovi’s I Wish Everyday Could Be Like Christmas and Jim Brickman and Collin Raye’s The Gift always make me hit “repeat!”

Okay here are two cheaters:  Repeat the Sounding Joy CD by Phillips, Craig and Dean and Chris Tomlin’s Glory in the Highest.  Both of these have so many songs I love, they may each need their own post! 

Christmas Music

Christmas Music VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

 

I love, Love, LOVE Christmas music.  I probably  have 15 or 20 Christmas CDs.  Very eclectic combinations of things, some might even say, strange.  For some reason, nothing says Christmas to me, like Christmas music.  When my sisters and I were little girls, our mom and dad would put us to bed at night with a stack of records on our record player. Yes, I know, I’m dating myself, but it’s the truth. We would go to sleep with Bible stories, a whole bunch of kids records and even some southern gospel music.  But, when it got close to Christmas, out came my favorites – The Chipmunks and Gene Autry’s Christmas album. I can still see the cover of the Gene Autry record – he’s in his boots and hat with a tiny little sleigh and reindeer. I’m still not sure why they are so tiny.  That just makes Christmas for me! 

Now, my tastes have changed a little.  I have some Mannheim Steamroller, the Beach Boys, the Carpenters and my new favorite, Chris Tomlin’s Christmas CD that just came out last year.  I have 2 Steven Curtis Chapman CDs with Christmas songs, several Jim Brickman (including one I know I have that I can’t find –HMMMMM) and a Harry Connick Jr, which I also can’t find. I even have several compilation albums, including a WOW! Christmas Album, and even  a Rosie O'Donnell Christmas one. My favorite songs on that one are “Nuttin’ for Christmas” by Smash Mouth and “Silver Bells” by Sugar Ray. I have a great one I got at the gas station and one from Hallmark called “Music to Trim the Tree By.” 

I also have  a Barry Manilow one – if you know me at all, you know how much I love him! Phillips, Craig and Dean, Avalon, 4Him, the list just goes on and on!!

I have several versions of Handel’s Messiah – but those are bittersweet. I have the Mormon Tabernacle Choir’s version and one called “A Soulful Celebration.” I have the “Young Messiah” which was actually a tour several years ago -  Sandi Patty’s “And the Glory Of The Lord” just blows my socks off and 4Him’s version of “The Trumpet Shall Sound” gets me every time.   But every Messiah ends with the Hallelujah Chorus – and that’s the bittersweet part. My mother absolutely, positively LOVED that song – so much that for years she made us promise we would play it at her funeral at the end.   When we were driving back from Marathon, after she went to heaven, my sister Robyn said to me “you know what we have to play, don’t you?”   And of course I knew exactly what she meant. We all did.   So I had to get out one of my Christmas albums in May – on Memorial Day.   For that, we used the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  

So as much as I love Christmas music, whenever I hear the Hallelujah Chorus, it makes me happy and sad – all at the same time.  Sad, because I still miss my momma so much. But happy because I know that she celebrates  Christmas  every day, in a way that we can’t yet.  Oh, but one day. . . One day.

Smells and sounds of the season

So, this is one of my favorite times of  the year.  From about the middle of October (my birthday!) on, I just love it.  There is just a different feeling when it cools a little.  I love the way October smells.  It used to be in Auburndale, that during October the plants would be cooking oranges or whatever they did with them and that was a fabulous smell.  I don’t get that smell anymore.  When we lived in Clewiston, the smell was the sugar mill and that is a smell I definitely do NOT miss. That is one of the most foul smells in the world, it’s sort of a sickly, overly sweet smell that is just indescribably gross. Someone once told me that to them it smelled like money, but it is horrible.  However, that is still a smell I associate with this time of year.

I like the smell of fall scented candles.  I have one  that is an autumn smell – I can’t even describe it.  It’s such a good smell.  I have a cinnamon bun candle and a farmhouse apple candle, all burning at the same time. 

I like the smell of turkey, dressing and most of all, pumpkin bread baking in the oven.  My mom made the best pumpkin bread ever. When she died, we had a hard time finding the right recipe. My oldest sister tried five or six different recipes, trying to get it just right and it took a while.  Finally, she found an old cookbook that my aunt got for my mom the first year she was married and there it was, all spattered and stained!  There is something about that smell that is just fabulous. Mrs. Sharon at my church makes a pumpkin muffin recipe that reminds me a lot of my mom’s recipe. 

My new favorite sound for this season is the sound of the squirrel that lives in our tree playing with acorns on the porch!  Last night I was up late and the wind was blowing a little, and I could hear the acorns falling off the tree and hitting the roof of our front porch. Today while I was home, I could hear the squirrel running around, jumping from the tree to the porch.  It’s funny. 

The one sound that you will NEVER hear at my house yet, is the sound of Christmas music. My rule is this – no Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving.   Last year I cheated a tiny bit and listened to Chris Tomlin’s Christmas album, but that was an exception to the rule. I think we get so caught up in Christmas that we miss the joy of thankfulness.  So, no Christmas sounds for me, yet! Now, Friday – that’s a whole different story. Friday, all the Christmas music comes out – Chris Tomlin, Avalon, Harry Connick , Jr., Third Day, the Carpenters, the Beach Boys and of course, the Chipmunks!  That doesn’t even count my  CD’s with multiple artists!  I have more Christmas music than there will be days until Christmas. 

Ah, peace and quiet!!!

The School Board of Polk County decided several years ago that this whole week of Thanksgiving is a holiday.  I believe this was after the year of the hurricanes, and actually, today and tomorrow are make up days in case we are out of school for a hurricane.  But, since (thankfully) we haven’t had any hurricanes lately, we get this whole week off from school.  Right now, it is 8:57 on a Monday morning. I’m sitting on my couch, in my pajamas, listening to the sounds of quiet.  A wind chime outside is gently chiming, occasionally a car goes by, and a squirrel is running from the roof to the tree to the steps to the electric wire.  My cat is strolling, but now he just laid down and is looking at me as he prepares for the difficult job of yet another catnap. 

I LOVE VACATIONS FROM SCHOOL!  Absolutely, positively, love them – and here’s why!  This is what I’m usually doing at 8:57 on a Monday morning.

I’ve gotten up, ironed something and run madly to the car.  Once I get to work on Mondays, I have to make a copy room run.  One reason I try and leave my house by 7 every morning, even though I don’t have to be at work until 8 is that I need to avoid the copy room rush.  So I run to my classroom, take my laptop out of the closet where it’s been locked safely all weekend, plug it up, and while it’s starting, I run and make copies.  I give my students a homework sheet every Monday and that’s usually what I need to copy. I know, I know, I should make it on Thursday the week before, and sometimes I try. But most of the time, my Thursday planning time is already filled up with other stuff – this week I was cleaning for Portfolio

So I make my copies, then rush back to my room to make sure I have everything ready for my lesson of the day. If I don’t, it’s another trip to the copy room. Then, I go sign in, in the office, which is the opposite direction from both my classroom and the copy room.  I always have to use the restroom which is probably TMI, but it’s part of the routine – that pesky blood pressure pill makes me take advantage of every restroom I see in the mornings.  Then, joy of my day, I have to go to duty.  I have to stand by the end of the boy’s locker room and herd students towards their proper place.  I have NO idea why 6th graders want to go where the 7th and 8th graders are located and why 7th and 8th graders want to hang out with 6th graders and why everybody wants to go somewhere else besides where they are SUPPOSED to be.  There’s always at least one, usually more who decide that I am stupid, don’t know what I’m talking about and want to argue with me, which just starts my day off in a fine manner.  So I spend 22 minutes saying, “tuck in your shirt” or “No, you can’t go see Mr. or Ms._____________”  or “No you can’t go to the office.” Then the bell rings and I’m dragged along on a wave of children to my room.  I’m always amazed how  middle schoolers can have body odor before 9:00 in the morning!!!

Then the day begins.  Our Mondays are 45 minute chaos filled class periods.  It seems like they just come in and calm down and it’s time to go. I pass out homework, we just start something and boom, it’s time to go. And it goes like this all day.  Sometimes, just for fun, we have Focus on Mondays so our 45 minute planning time is taken up by training.  By the end of the day, is it any wonder we are all exhausted???

This year has been a little different – our guidance counselor will NOT schedule parent conferences on Mondays.  We used to have parent conferences in the 20 minutes before we went to duty!  And they do try to have Focus other days of the week, but sometimes it’s still on Mondays.   AND I’m lucky that our school resource deputy teaches my classes on  Mondays!  But when she’s pulled out, it’s just crazy.

So, today I sit here and enjoy the quiet –knowing that next Monday at this time, I’ll be in the chaos and craziness of yet another Monday at school. 

What a mess!

I used to use Microsoft Word to write my blog. It was so easy, I could just hit publish and it would send it right there.  A while ago, it quit working. I could cut and paste, but it still wasn’t the same.  So, I figured out today that I could use Windows Live Writer to do the same thing. That was at 8:15 this morning. I have been trying all day to update and fix my computer to install Windows Live Writer.  I’ve started and restarted my computer about 12 times. I’ve quit, started again, took a nap and worked on it some more.  Crazy stuff, but apparently, I’ve installed and updated enough that it works.  Let’s see!

My Girl

Tomorrow, Wednesday, October 13th is my girl’s birthday. My only niece will be 12. I don’t know where the time has gone – it literally seems like just yesterday when she was born. She was almost my birthday present, born just two days before my birthday. She was so tiny, only four and half pounds. . . I can’t believe what a beautiful young lady she’s turned into. I’m sad that she’s already 12, but I love watching her grow.

I remember the day she was born - my sister had to go to the hospital early Sunday morning. Makiah wasn't due until the end of November, but Patti had started retaining water horribly. On Monday, the doctor said they were going to keep Patti on bed rest until Makiah's due date. But on Tuesday, I went for a department meeting at school, came back to my room and my daddy was leaning against my classroom door. He said "We're having a baby at noon!" I immediately went to the office and said I needed to leave. Our AP at the time said I couldn't leave. I kind of ignored her and spent first period making plans. My friends Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Grant and Mrs. Barry all took some of my kids for the rest of the day and after 1st period was over, I left.
When I walked into the hospital, Patti was telling my mom grades for her kids, and my mom was filling in Patti's bubble sheets for report cards. Later, while we were waiting, I was writing names for a new 9 weeks in my gradebook. We waited forever it seemed. Robyn kept praying for her to yell - she said if the baby could holler or yell, that her lungs would be strong enough for her to be OK. I just kept praying she wouldn't have to have a needle in her head. I kept thinking I could handle anything, but if that tiny little baby had to have a needle in her head, I just couldn't stand the thought of that.

We both got what we prayed for - she yelled for her Aunt Robyn and she never had to have a needle in her head. She was tiny, much tinier that either of Robyn's boys. We were used to 8 pound babies, so this little 4 1/2 pound things was just nothing.

Now, she's taller than her mom, and her feet are nearly as big as mine. I just can't believe it!! She's so much more than we could have wished for - she's beautiful, she's smart and she's sweet. I wish my mom could see her now!

Granny's Birthday

 


At the end of August, my Aunt Cecelia has a birthday party for my Granny Hilda. Granny is my mother’s mother and she turned 90 in September. My Granny is something else. She’s not had an easy life, but she’s certainly had an interesting life.
She was born in Red Level, Alabama, which is not much bigger than a sheet of paper. She was named Hilda Herberta Jones. (Her father’s name was Herbert Hilrey and he named her after himself!) Not exactly a name to love is it??? When I was younger, I asked her if I could call her Hilda. She said “Sure” so then I asked about Herberta. She said “Ummm, NO!!” She had one older sister, my Aunt Julia and a TON of half-siblings. Until this year, she had gone to a class reunion every year, since the 30th year. She’s been widowed, and then widowed again. She gave birth to five children and has had to attend the funerals of two of them. I think when she lost my Uncle George, who was her baby, and then my mom just 11 months later, it changed her. I didn’t know if she was going to recover.
She’s a trip! She gave me one of her wedding ring sets and it is absolutely gorgeous. When she gave it to me, she kind of tossed the box at me and said, “It doesn’t look like you’re ever going to get any of your own, so here!” At her party when I went over to hug her, she said, “Well, I see you haven’t lost any weight!” She says whatever she thinks, whenever she wants. I guess when you’re 90, you kind of have that right.
She still lives alone. She lives next door to my aunt, but she lives all by herself. She worked hard, and during a time when most women didn’t work outside the home at all. She started smoking when she was 14 and about 10 years ago, she just quit. She decided she didn’t want to anymore and she quit – just like that! She has the most self-control I’ve ever seen! She likes Almond M&M’s and used to buy a bag and eat three a day until they were gone. Can you imagine – three a day?? Unbelievable!
She has always been a little nervous! She used to know every car in her neighborhood, and knew exactly when people were supposed to be home. For a birthday gift one time, we got her a cap pistol and binoculars so she could shoot to scare off the dogs that would poo-poo in her yard and peek at her neighbors better! It made me sad to see how slow she’s moving these days. She’s slowed down a lot. She always seemed younger than she was and all of a sudden, her age has caught up with her. I realize how lucky we were to get to celebrate her 90th birthday with her.

My Bubba-cat, Take 2

So, everyone (all two people who read my blog!!) know that I have a cat named Bubba, because I blogged about him a little while ago. Well, another day, here we go again. Rumor has it that my poor cat is being maligned in a certain 5th grade teacher’s classroom where he is known as “Bubba the EVIL cat.” Well, for a supposedly evil cat, he has the cutest new habit. He likes to drink water as it drips into the bathtub. He has a water dispenser, an electric one, mind you, with a pump and filter that is supposed to give him clean, fresh water all the time. But he’d rather drink from the bathtub (and occasionally, the toilet!) So his newest trick is, he sneaks into the bathtub when he thinks I’m not looking. I can’t seem to make him understand that I don’t care if he drinks the water left in the bottom of the bathtub, but he still keeps trying to sneak. His next trick is trying to sneak out of the bathtub as well. My bathroom is tiny. For me to notice him sneaking in or out of the bathtub, I’m usually. . . “busy” but since my bathtub is the size of a postage stamp, he’s NOT sneaking. Then, he shakes. The other night I woke up with his wet head pushed against my leg and I knew he’d been sneaking into the shower again. Crazy cat!
So, I wanted to create an online photo album for the 5h grade teacher who talks about her sister’s “EVIL cat.” I wanted her to be able to show her kids my cat. So here it is Bubba’s first photo album. What a cat!!

Things I learned tonight at a high school volleyball game

Tonight I learned some stuff, and being the teacher that I am, I decided to share them with you all. You may already know these things or you may not care, but it’s my blog and I can do it if I want to. Tonight I went to Lake Region High School to watch a volleyball game. In the past few years, I have been to several high school volleyball games and watched young ladies from my church play. I’ve watched Sami Carver and Hannah Smith play. Tonight I went to see my friend Laura’s daughter Kali play. Laura and I have been friends for about 100 years, (Okay, maybe just like 20 or something) but we haven’t seen each other in person in YEARS. We used to work in AWANA together and as hard as this may be to believe, of the two of us, I was the warm, fuzzy one! Laura is probably the toughest person I know. She would kick butt on Survivor and she could seriously win if she were ever a contestant on Fear Factor. So, we rediscovered each other on Facebook. (I LOVE that!) Her daughter Kali is a freshman on the varsity volleyball team at Lakeland High School, and Laura helps coach the team. I wanted to go to the Auburndale/Lakeland game, but it was the night of Open House at my school. So tonight, I went to Lake Region to watch them play. In the process, I learned some things so here we go!
1. I didn’t think that my friend Laura could sit so calmly and watch a game, especially a game her daughter is playing in. She keeps statistics and sits right there in her chair and makes notes on paper. She never jumped up and yelled, never screamed at any officials and never appeared to even get very upset. I didn’t know she could do that! I have seen her almost rabid at AWANA Olympic practice! I was completely surprised.
2. Volleyball has changed a WHOLE lot since we played in PE. At every game I’ve been to, I’m just amazed. This ain’t my PE volleyball anymore. No three lines of three players, no more gently wafting the ball over the net. These girls are like machines. I was a little nervous.
3. I’m amazed at how much a kid can make you think so much about two other people. Looking at Kali, I couldn’t tell you specifically if she looks like her mom or her dad, but she made me think of both of them. I look a LOT like my dad – I have his round face, his chin and I’m built more like him. I have my mom’s squinty little eyes. I can’t tell you specifically how Kali looks like Laura or Jimbo, but I can see BOTH of them in her. She makes me think of both of them. One time, during the game, though, she did something and she was her mother made over. At that moment, she was 1000% Laura!
4. I don’t know who decided that volleyball players should wear bottoms that look like boy leg bathing suit bottoms . . . and I’m not sure it’s a good idea. There is probably some reason why those spandex bottoms help them move faster or something, but I don’t know any statistics. I’m shocked at how unflattering those things are, even on high school girls who are in fabulous shape. I also can’t imagine how irritating they must be, because between every part of the game, the poor things have to pull them out of their nether regions. Can’t be comfortable at all!!!
5. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to have students from the home school watch the lines to determine when a ball is out or not. . . And that’s all I’m going to say about that. You can probably imagine why.
6. Almost last, but not least, my friend Laura’s daughter is a scary good volleyball player. It should be obvious to everyone that what I know about volleyball could fit in a thimble and there would be room left over, but I can even tell she’s REALLY good. I’ve gotta tell you, she hit some balls that were like bullets. If I were told I had to choose between being chased by a dog and letting Kali hit a volleyball at me, I’d take the dog. I was watching the game and I flinched sometimes, even though the ball was WAY away from and going the opposite direction
7. I’m so glad that God puts certain people in our lives. I’m so thankful that I’ve found my friend Laura again. I can’t even tell you why we’re friends; we don’t have much in common at all!! She is a tough, tough athlete – I’m a big wussy pants. She can handle anything that comes her way, with attitude, while I just want to curl up on the corner and cry! When we first met, she was married and I was single. She’s married now, and I’m still single. She’s a mom, I’m not. But somehow, in spite of all that, we ended up friends – and I’m so glad that we are.

The stupidest thing I’ve done (today!)

I hurt myself quite often. It’s never on purpose, but I hurt myself frequently. When I was about six, I decided to shave my legs. I grabbed a razor and dragged it up my leg, leaving a scar that I still have today. One year at my school’s Christmas play, I had this massive scab on the front of my shin. Imagine a pretty red dress for Christmas, nice little white lacy socks, with this ginormous red, bloody scab in between. I was trying to walk on some concrete pavers and fell off. My mother used to tell me “It’s just a clumsy stage; you’ll grow out of it.” The year I turned 27, she quit telling me that.
So yesterday, my nephew Josh had a job interview and, being the great aunt that I try to be, I was ironing his shirt for him. I picked up the can of spray starch by the lid. You can probably figure out what happened next. Gravity is still in effect, so the heavy can of spray starch fell out of the lid and landed right on top of my left foot, where my toes attach to rest of my foot. I hopped around moaning for a while and then ironed the shirt and went on to church. Things like this happen to me all the time, so it’s really no big deal.
This is where the stupidity comes in. Tonight I’m in the shower. ****** Caution – this next sentence may be TMI, so you may want to skip it. I have this pair of shoes that are really, really, comfortable, but they make my feet . . . how can I say this delicately . . . a tad odoriferous. Whenever I wear them, I can’t take them off until I’m ready to take a shower. ******************** Okay, you can read again now. I’m in the shower, scrubbing my feet. I notice this dirty spot on top of my foot and I’m scrubbing and scrubbing and scrubbing. Then, I realize it hurts and the dirt is NOT going away. Then, it hits me! DUH!!! It’s a bruise! I’m trying to scrub off a bruise!! What kind of dummy am I??? I start laughing; water goes up my nose. . . Good times, good times!!!

My Bubba-cat

So, I have this cat named Bubba. Sometimes I call him Bubba-cat; sometimes I call him Bubbalicious and sometimes just Bub. I got him in May of 1996, when he was just about six weeks old. He was so tiny; he couldn't jump up onto my bed. I had to pick him up and put him on the bed. He has grown into quite the monster cat. He's very long, if he stands on his hind legs, he can read pas the doorknob on my front door. When he lays flat on top of me, he reaches from my shoulders, almost to my knees.

Bubba thinks he is an alarm clock. If I don't wake up, he wakes me up. Either he jumps on my stomach, or he climbs up on my chest of drawers and hits the blinds on the window so they crash into the window. He does it over and over until I either get up or swing a pillow at him. He also has a horrible habit. He chews on plastic. Plastic bags, trash bag handles, whatever. One day I picked up a plastic folder to take to school and it had little teeth marks all over the end of it. The really weird thing is, he chews on them with his back teeth, not his front teeth. It's very strange to watch him.

He also thinks he's a watch cat. When my Mom died, I had to run an errand, and my friend Laquita was coming to my house. My nephews were downstairs so I left my door unlocked, because Quita was almost here and we'd be back soon. When she tried to come in my house, Bubba started hissing at her and almost wouldn't let her in. During Spring Break this year, my sister came to get some of her stuff from my house. My dad and my nephew and I were cleaning out the garage. Everything was fine as long as I was here, even though I was downstairs and she was upstairs. But, the minute we got in my car to run to Lowe's, Bubba went after her. He hid under stuff and jumped out at her, he hissed at her, and finally, she put a laundry basket over him to get away. When we got home, I noticed a plastic spoon on the window outside my front door. She had to use the spoon to get out of the house.

Bubba can hear me open a can no matter where he is in the house. If I open any sort of can, he comes bounding into the kitchen, meowing for his dinner. It doesn't matter if I'm opening a can of soup or whatever, he thinks it's cat food. He loves cheese, especially the cheese they put on nachos at Taco Bell. He likes queso and loves the chicken from a Wendy's chicken sandwich.

My nephew and niece are both terrified of him. He attacks their feet, hides behind stuff, and jumps out at them. I think he's playing but they both think he's trying to hurt them. I would swear he laughs whenever they are scared of him. When I went to London, my dad and his wife "cat-sat" for me. Bubba took a road trip to his Grandpa's house. He did not enjoy the three-hour drive and whined pitifully from Auburndale to Wauchula. When he realized he wasn't getting out of the carrier, he just went to sleep. He spent his first several days at my dad's house hiding under the bed. Every time they tried to check on him, he would swipe at them. He doesn't have any front claws, so he can't really hurt you, but he still tries. Daddy finally got a flyswatter after him. Whenever he misbehaved, Daddy would swat him with the flyswatter. He finally got so comfortable, he would swat back at the flyswatter. He's definitely a strong willed child. Daddy kept asking me if he could give Bubba a bath. I told him he was welcome to, but I wouldn't advise it!!!

When I was in the 6^th grade, my teacher missed some days of school because she had to have her pet put to sleep. I can't remember whether it was a dog or a cat, (I'm thinking a dog, but I'm not sure.) I remember thinking that was the silliest thing I'd ever heard, missing work because her pet was sick. Now, I understand. Bubba is very much like my child. I worry when he's sick and I spank him when he misbehaves. I had no idea when I got him that this one little cat would become such a huge part of my life. Crazy as it sounds; I love my Bubba-cat.

 

My Daddy is the best daddy

 
 
 
 

My Daddy is the best Daddy

I have the best Daddy in the whole world. I know that everybody thinks that, but I really do. I've always thought that my Dad did a great thing, in that if you ask any of the three of us (my sisters and I) who is our Dad's favorite, we would all say "I am!" I really do think I'm his favorite though, because I'm his baby! I've been a bit of a disappointment to him lately, because of my job situation. My dad has an amazing faith, and he truly, truly believes that God works everything out in His own time and in His own way. I believe it too, but my faith has been a little shaky lately. This whole job thing has been rough on me and my head and my heart are often on two different wavelengths. I believe in my head that God will work everything out in His way and His own time, but every time I get one of those incredibly impersonal, computer generated emails from Human Resources that says "You were not selected for an interview" it hurts. I'm trying really hard to NOT take this personally, but it's hard, since it is ME that they can't even be bothered to interview. I know that none of these principals knows anything about me (and can't even apparently be bothered to take 20 seconds to respond to an email, but we'll save that for another post! J) but still. . . I haven't handled this rejection really well, and have been a little bitter.

So today, I go back to work, beginning my 17^th year teaching Geography. (No, I'm not using the Master's degree that I worked my rear end off for 2 ½ years. No, I'm not using the media specialist certification that's been added to my teaching certificate for over a year. – Thanks for asking! L) It was not a bad day, at all. We actually ended up with nearly an entire day to work in our rooms, which doesn't always happen. Josh came and moved furniture for me, I already have a bulletin board up, my desks arranged and stuff put away. But STILL, I'm not doing what I really want to do. I know I should just be grateful I have a job, I know, I know, I know. But today when I get home from school, I checked the mail, which I usually don't do. In my mailbox is an envelope from my daddy. It doesn't have his name on it, but I know his return address and I recognize his chicken scratch handwriting. The envelope got a little wet because it was raining but not too bad. I open it up and inside is a book, a new book. You need to understand that my dad NEVER buys new books. He is the junk/book store KING. He never pays full price for a book. He'll pay a dollar, maybe two for a hardback book, but that's it. I've spent many more hours in the "Rereader" the Goodwill's bookstore than I have Barnes and Nobles or Books a Million. So when I get a new book from my daddy, that's quite a thing.

The book is called "1,003 Great Things About Teachers." It's is just full of funny, funny things. I was reading while I was drinking and almost spit water across the room. There is a section called "Words that Teachers AREN'T embarrassed to say." My favorites are tentacle and Virginia. It is really funny. There was no card, no letter, nothing, jus the book in the envelope. But I know what he means. He could have sent a card, he's gotten very mushy about cards lately, but he knew that sending me a BOOK would be the best way. I really am lucky. Could anybody have a better dad??

Contentment . . . or lack thereof

I just used my online Bible search tool and found the word "content" 10 times in less than five seconds. Uh-oh. (BTW, I mean content as in satisfied, not what is inside something!) Most people who have ever been in church on any sort of regular basis have probably heard this verse from Philippians: "Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:" That verse is causing me much stress lately, because I am NOT content. Dictionary.com defines content as "satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else." That's a toughie!! To not want any more or anything else. I dream about winning the lottery – does that mean I'm not content? I think sometimes my discontent doesn't come from wanting MORE, as it does from wanting something else. Then my faith and my feelings clash. I believe firmly and 100% that God loves us and wants the best for us. I believe that God knows and sees the whole picture, while I am only looking at a part. I believe that in His time, He works out things for the good for me. I KNOW all that. I just don't feel it always. So, because I'm stubborn and hardheaded, I try to help Him out. I give Him advice about what's best for me. And I become more and more discontent with my life. There will always be people with "MORE" than I have. I understand that. I get it. When you choose the educational system for a career, that's one of the "givens" the comes with the job. I can live with that. I do still dream of winning the lottery – Oh, the things I can think about what I could do with that money!!! I just want to be content with where I am right now. It's easy to start making a list of all the things I don't like and wish I could change. Top of the list – a new job! I did all I could to change that all summer – and every door just keeps closing. Next on the list – a different house – but I don't even know where to begin to change that!

A few months ago, someone told me I should learn the "Serenity Prayer." Yes, the same prayer that people in AA use. You've probably heard it, it goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'm working on recognizing that I can't change other people (much to my dismay!) and that I can't change the decisions other people make. And, again, much to my dismay, there are MANY things I cannot change. I guess the only thing I can do is prayer for the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to wait.

 

    

If wishes were horses. . . .

So, I want a new house. I guess I should say, another house – it doesn't have to be "NEW." I want a "new to me" house. I have been thinking a lot about what I want in this new house. Realize, gentle reader, that the chances of me getting a new house are pretty slim at this point, because I would have to sell my house first and I can't imagine anybody wants to buy my house. When we bought our house, there were some things that I didn't think about or didn't know to look for, so I hope I've learned some things since then. Someone told me that now, while I'm not really looking for a house, I should make a list of the things I want in my next house while I'm not emotionally involved in looking for a new one. Here are some things I want in a "new to me" house.

1. NO STAIRS!! I have lived upstairs since 1996. While living upstairs has given me terrific calf muscles, I'm tired of taking everything that goes in to my house up and down the stairs. I wouldn't mind a house that had a bedroom upstairs, but I DO NOT want to have to take everything up and down the stairs.

2. Kitchen counter space. Our house is old and used to be a single dwelling that now has been split up into two, so I think that my kitchen probably used to be a bedroom. There is NO counter space in my kitchen, except a space big enough for my dish drainer. I WANT counter space.

3. Laundry space!! My washer is down stairs, in our detached garage. That means every time I do laundry, I have to go downstairs, to the creepy garage. That means no just "throwing in a load." It's always a production. I'm sick of it. I want to be able to put in laundry load while I'm still wearing my pajamas, and in the rain without getting drenched and worrying about falling down (or up!) the stairs.

There you have it. My most important list of what I WANT whenever I get a new house. When I look at the list, it really doesn't seem to wish for, does it??? Meantime, I just keep wishing. . .

Sweet Memories

So tonight after church, I took myself to Publix. I needed eggs, milk, toothpaste and of course, I was looking for Publix BOGO offers. There was supposed to be an ice cream treat in that BOGO list, but they were all out. So while I'm looking for the ice cream, I see the freezer section that is reserved for Carvel ice cream cakes. Imagine my surprise when I saw these great little things called "A Taste of Carvel." I was so excited. It's a cute little tub of Carvel vanilla and chocolate ice cream with those yummy little chocolate crunchies on top. I love those little chocolate crunchy things. This is what made me go "AHHHHHH" and get one. (BTW, only $1.49!!!! and just enough for a yummy snack.) For several years, my friend Kevin worked at a Carvel store in Lakeland. It was great. He actually became quite the cake decorator, enough that he decorated cakes for everybody for a while. I loved it when he worked there, because if he made our ice cream, he would always give me (if I asked) extra of the chocolate crunchy things. Just delicious – and a fun memory. He got so good at cake decorating that when we had a cake crisis, Kevin came to the rescue. When my nephew was little, for like his 5^th or 6^th birthday, he wanted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cake. Robyn (his mom) was a recently divorced single mom with two boys, and since Ken's birthday is in December, money was always tight. It was hard finding him a TMNT cake. To make matters worse, right before his birthday he got sick. He couldn't have the party that he was supposed to have, because he was sick. We couldn't find a TMNT cake anywhere. So Kevin made him one. I think Robyn actually baked a regular cake mix and Kevin made it a Ninja Turtle cake. Kevin also helped us make a black cake for Robyn on her 30^th birthday. Patti and I gave her a hard time, and I'll never forget she reminded us that we would be 30 someday too. I told her since she is seven years older than I am, by the time I was 30, she'd be pushing 40 pretty hard. It's funny now!

My friend Kevin is a great guy. He gets embarrassed if people know this, but as a young man (in his early 20's) he took on the responsibility of raising other people's children. . . He's great! Isn't it funny how something so silly – a little tub of ice cream – can bring up such good memories???

Memorial Day

Memorial Day means a lot of things to a lot of people. According to Wikipedia, the holiday was originally called Decoration Day. In 1971, Congress officially made the last Monday in May as the official date and changed the name to Memorial Day. It is supposed to be day of remembering those soldiers whose lives were lost in battle. For many people, it is the official beginning of summer and for several years, the School Board of Polk County actually made the school calendar so that school was OVER by Memorial Day. I love the fact that my little town puts up a huge flag on City Hall, and puts flags around Lake Stella. I have family and friends who have served and are serving in the military and Memorial Day is a good day to remember and thank those people.

For my family, Memorial Day means something a little different. In 2001, we held our mom's funeral on Memorial Day. That may seem kind of weird to some people, but it worked for us. That year, we were done with school by then, students had actually finished two Fridays before (on the 18^th) and teachers had either two or three workdays the next week. My mom had her heart attack on Monday and we told the doctor to turn off the stupid machines on Wednesday. Because she died in another county, there was something weird with that and we had to wait for a while. We decided to do the viewing and funeral back to back and now, other people have done the same thing – we started a trend! Memorial Day for me will always be a day of remembering my mom.

 

My mom was born second of five children. She was not a healthy child – she spent most of her life until age 10 off and on in the hospital. She had an underdeveloped lung and she got sick a lot. When she was 10, the doctors removed the underdeveloped part of her lung and she was much better after that. She was a tiny little thing – her goal in high school was to weigh 90 pounds. She wasn't even 5 feet tall and a size two shoe was too big most often. She graduated from high school in June of 1961 and married my dad in August of 1961. My sister Robyn was born in June of 1962. When she married my dad, he worked for US Sugar, and could have worked there forever. Little did she know he would be called into the ministry and end up a pastor. They had been married for a week the first time he invited someone home for dinner with no warning to her. He never stopped doing that.

My mom was a feisty little thing. I think sometimes people underestimated her and tried to take advantage of her. She was not one to cross and it made her furious if someone wronged someone she cared for. She was happiest when she had a houseful of people to fuss over and cook for. She was a great cook, a hard worker and a great mom. I think she really worried about always doing the right thing – my grandmother told me that before my sister Robyn was born, my mom read every book she could find on how to raise a child and be a good mom. She was smart – she could have done anything she wanted. She had a scholarship to go to college and gave it up to marry my dad and have us. When I started kindergarten, she went to work. She worked in a bra factory for a while and then started business college. She graduated from business college with a 3 point something grade point average, with three children, a house, a job and a husband. That's why when I started at FSU, my goal was to have at least the same GPA she did, since all I had was a cat!

I don't remember ever seeing my mother sleep when I was little. She made all of our clothes, stretched the tiny bit of money we had to feed us all, and managed to keep us all safe and in one piece. We went to elementary school at Dixieland Elementary in Lakeland, and we had a carnival every year. She worked the cotton candy machine one year and because she was so short, she ended up COVERED in cotton candy. It took multiple showers for her to get all the sugar off her.

My mom and dad were married for nearly 40 years. Their first date was to the beach after the prom. Their last day together was at the beach. They were a great team. Somehow, they fit each other perfectly. My sister and I were lucky enough to have parents that loved each other and loved us – and we knew it.

I thank God every day that I was lucky enough to be born in the US. I know that I am lucky to live in the United States, with the largest volunteer armed force in the world. And I know that Memorial Day is the day we remember them. But for me, Memorial Day is also one of the days I remember my mom – and how blessed I am to have had her.

Wise words from . . . my candy???

So, I'm always looking out for words of wisdom. I have a bulletin board in my classroom with "Words of Wisdom" on it – great quotes from all different places and people. I have a quote from my principal, from Mother Teresa, to Winston Churchill to Master Yoda and Thumper. I add to it, make my kids read them when those words apply. I'm always looking. This is one reason I like to eat Dove Chocolates. (Yeah, right.) The Dove promises have neat little quotes inside. I've been indulging lately (Publix had Dove candies BOGO so of course I had to buy some) and here are some of the great quotes I've found in the chocolate. BTW, I've been saving the wrappers – I have NOT eaten all these myself at one time. I was passing them out during field day and I saved the wrappers. Some of these are very profound! Enjoy!

• Look for love in unexpected places.
  
• Remind yourself that it's okay not to be perfect.
  
• Indulge in the moments that matter most.
  
• Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you get. (That's almost Biblical – . . . for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content)
  
• Smile when you want to, cry when you need to, laugh whenever possible.
  
• It's OK not to do it all.
  
• Keep moving forward, don't look back.
  
• Give a smile, you'll almost always get one back.
  
• Love like there is no tomorrow.
  
• Most things you worry about never happen.
  
• If you fail, learn and move on. You're growing.
  
• Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted at all. (I think that's my favorite.)
  

Pretty good stuff, isn't it? I wonder what the rest of them say. I've heard people say they just read Playboy for the articles – I'm just eating chocolate for the quotes. J

Our Josh

My nephew Josh was born 19 years ago on Monday. He was born in what we thought was not the best of circumstances – his parents divorced in October before he was born in March. He has never lived with his mom and dad together in a household. He is going to Polk State College and wants to be (at last check) an architect or civil engineer. The name "Joshua" means "Jehovah is salvation" or "God rescues" depending on which source one reads. Our Josh is the greatest 19 year old I know. He is caring, sweet and just makes me smile. He doesn't talk much, but when he does, it's good to listen to him. I wanted him to be a girl desperately, and actually cried when Robyn found out he was a boy, but now, I can't imagine our life without him.

When he was little, he didn't speak very clearly, and mixed words up, which was funny, because his brother NEVER did. Ken spoke in complete sentences as soon as he started talking and there was NO baby talk. Josh had all funny things he said – like he always called his pocket his "pock" and everything was "inside" not in. His money was inside his pock. . . It was adorable. One of my most favorite stories is about him saying the word "girl" he said "grrr." One day our conversation went like this:

I said, "What are you" he'd answer "I a boy." I said, "What am I?" He said "You a grrrr." I kept asking him over and over and over again so finally I guess he got tired of me asking so he sighed and said "I a he and you a she." I love that story.

One of our favorite things to do right now is try and figure out what we'd do if we won the lottery. We have all sorts of plans, which is funny, because we don't buy lottery tickets very often. Occasionally I do, but not very often. We like to think about what we'd do. It's fun and it doesn't really hurt anything. We also have long, involved conversations about topics that should NOT be long and involved. The other day we discussed superheroes and which one has the best super powers. We disagreed, but that's OK. He tried to teach me how to play chess the other day, but that didn't go so well and I'm such a bad loser, it's not always fun for other people to play games with me. He is the greatest. I was so upset when my sister told me she was pregnant, but I know now that God knew EXACTLY what He was doing. So, Josh-U-A, happy birthday! I love you!

Why I LOVE Publix

I love shopping at Publix. I like that my Publix is always clean, always has stocked shelves and that someone always asks me if I found everything I need. I love that if I'm not happy, they'll fix it. I love that they always offer to take my bags, even if I don't let them. I like it that around holidays, I can buy bags of food for hungry people. I love BOGO's – the buy one-get one free specials that they have every week. I love that by using this website: www.Publix.com/bogo I can find this week's BOGO specials. But today I had an experience that makes me love my Publix even more.

This morning I had to stop at Publix because I was stupid. We got to wear jeans today for a canned food drive, if we brought two cans. Well, I had my cans on the table in the kitchen, walked right out of the house, and forgot them. So halfway to school, I remembered. Publix was closer, my devotion this morning was about being generous, AND my friend Mrs. Turner, who is in charge of the food drive, told me yesterday that Catholic Charities, who gets the food, really needs peanut butter. So instead of going back home to get my two cans of soup, I just whipped into Publix to get some peanut butter. While I was in Publix, I noticed that Froot Loops were buy one, get one free. We give Froot Loops to the babies in the nursery, and I've recently had quite the craving for Froot Loops, so I grabbed two boxes, one for the nursery and one for me. One box was 3.99 so I was getting two boxes for 3.99, which is like two bucks apiece. I get to the checkout counter and one of my two favorite ladies was checking people out. There are two ladies at my Publix, both African-American ladies, who should train people in how to do their job. I always go to their lines, even if I only have 10 items and they are not working the express lane. They are friendly and personable, but still manage to be quick and nice. . . It's amazing.

She sees my boxes of Froot Loops and says "OOOH Honey, get the ones with the coupons!" I look and some of the boxes have a coupon on the front for $1.00 off. I said "But they are buy one, get one free!" She says, "That doesn't matter. A dollar off is a dollar off." So it comes out like this – I got two boxes of Froot Loops, which should be $3.99, EACH for $1.99. I paid a dollar a box! Can you believe it? She didn't have to tell me about the coupons, it doesn't matter to her if I use the coupon or not! Actually, using the coupon made another step for her in ringing me up, but she did it anyway. That's why I LOVE Publix.

Mean people

I was pondering a blog entry on "Things that Stink" and I opened up the floor for suggestions. Wow! Some were hysterically funny - Thanks Laura! Some were kind of sad. One that struck me in particular was my friend Melody's suggestion "Mean People." I've often been called "mean" by students so I started to think about the word "mean." According to dictionary.com (and in the context to which I'm referring) the word is defined as "offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious." It also includes "small-minded" or "troublesome or vicious; bad-tempered." The synonyms are "contemptible and despicable." Not exactly a character reference is it? I started thinking about myself in those terms – I don't think I'm mean. I am occasionally petty and stubborn, but mean? I don't think so. I think doing something deliberately to hurt other people – now that's mean. I don't EVER wake up in the morning excited because I can ruin someone's day. I never lay awake at night, thinking of ways to make someone else miserable. But, apparently, some people do. I saw a shirt or bumper sticker once that said "Mean people suck." While I hate that term, I think I agree with the sentiment. Stay tuned for the next installment of "Things that really stink!"

______ Reasons why I am ready for Winter to be OVER!!!!

Yes, I left it blank on purpose, because I haven't yet decided how many reasons there are going to be. Here is it (I know you've all been waiting with bated breath) my list of reasons why I am NOT enjoying the winter of 2010.

 

1. I hate the cold. I enjoy "COOL" but do NOT enjoy "COLD." Last summer I was in North Carolina with my friend Laquita and it was cool. On July 3^rd, it was 50 something degrees on the mountain. Somehow, knowing it was 90 at home made the 50 something not so bad. I cannot remember a winter that has had so many cold days ever in my life.

2. I don't have the right clothes for this much cold weather. I have about three or four sweater and three or four sweatshirts – and that's it. I have also been scrounging for long pants that aren't jeans. We're not always allowed to wear jeans to school and I don't have many long pants. I have a LOT of Capri pants, but can't wear them. Capri pants and socks, it's not a good fashion statement when you have legs as short as mine. There's another reason, but you'll get it in number 5.

3. Due to number 2, I have to wear layers of clothes. Those of you who know me know that the words "slim" or "svelte" would NEVER be applied to me. Add layers of clothes to that fact and you get. . . the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man. That's what I feel like. Oh wait, that's every other day. The opposite days, I'm channeling the Michelin Man.

4. Cold weather does nasty stuff to my skin. The skin on my arms and legs tends to be dry anyway, but with this weather, it's easy to mistake my skin for some sort of scaly reptile. I have tried many kinds of lotion – and still, I almost crackle when I move.

5. Shaving, dry skin. . . Enough said.

6. The Winter Olympics. I have always been influenced by what I'm seeing or watching. I've read books in June, and sat shivering, because the people in the book were freezing. When I went to see the movie "Titanic", I wore a sweatshirt, because I knew there was somebody was going to be in that freezing water and I knew I would be cold. (The A/C was broken in the theater; I nearly passed out because I was so hot!) Because I know myself, and I love to watch the Olympics, I always get cold, watching people in the snow and ice! That's cold stuff. Usually, it's warm enough that the cold that I imagine for myself is a nice break. When it really is cold and then I watch the cold, it's almost too much to bear.

7. I live in Florida for a reason. Sunday night when I was getting ready for church, the temperatures in Vancouver and in Tampa were the same! Florida is NOT supposed to be the same temperature as the place where they Winter Olympics are going on! That's just wrong on so many levels.

 

So, there they are! As my children say, I'm "hatin'" on winter! I admit, when it was 90 degrees in December I whined and complained – and I still think 86 degrees at 8:30 in December is wrong! But so is all this cold! You know what else is wrong? Having to wear every sweater and sweatshirt, I own more times this winter than all the winters I've owned them.

Whale or Mermaid

Oh my blog, how I've missed you! I think this is the best way to jump back into my blogging!

I got this in an email from my friend Loraine, and I think it's great. So my biggest apologies to whoever or whomever wrote it first, I have no idea where it came from but here it is. . .

 

Recently, in a large city in Australia , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

 

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

 

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia ..

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

 

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them .... where is IT? Therefore, they don't have kids either.

Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

 

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

 

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads
that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨