May 23, 2001 (11 Years Ago Today, part 3)

So today, 11 years ago. We – Daddy, Robyn, Patti and I had to meet with the doctor and tell him to unplug the machines. I have to say,  we had no issues with what we told him. We didn’t like it, but we have NO guilt  or no regret for that. It wasn’t what we wanted, but we KNEW it was what she wanted. 

We were in the hospital waiting for the doctor, looked down the hallway and saw a wonderful sight. We saw some dear, dear friends coming down the hallway. Frank and Rita Newberry and Jim Elliott,  who had been friends with my parents since 1970, had driven all the way to the Keys to be with us.  It was unbelievable. My sisters and I were worried about our Daddy. We had each other, but he didn’t have anyone – but they showed up! We stood in a circle around Momma’s bed, we prayed, and walked out. The doctor came in, did his thing and in just a few minutes he told us she was gone. 

We went back to the rental house, and packed up to go home. Mrs. Rita is a cleaning machine, and she started cleaning and packing. It wasn’t much longer than an hour or two and we were on the way home. It was a LONG drive home. I rode with Robyn and her boys and Patti rode with Daddy.  Robyn and I would pop up with random things, we’d cry a little, then keep on.  Robyn said “You know we’re gonna have to play that song.” I said “ I know.”  My mom had told us for YEARS  she wanted the “Hallelujah Chorus” played at her funeral.

As we rode home the strangest thing was – the world just kept on spinning. Kids were going home from school, getting off the bus, and everybody else just went on like normal. Our world was completely off-kilter and everybody else was just having another day. That was the hardest thing to get.

I’ve written before about how much I love Steven Curtis Chapman – here is one reason why.  The only thing I could think of was a song of his.  The chorus goes like this:

“We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again”

The second verse says:

“And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done”

You can read the rest of the lyrics here: http://stevencurtischapman.com/node/261

(and you can hear part of the song. I love him – you can buy it on iTunes!)

Another Bible verse kept popping into my head – “. . . that you sorrow NOT, as those who have NO HOPE. . .” 

I know as much as anyone can know about someone else, that my mom is with Jesus.  I don’t know why He needed her more than I do, but I have to trust that His ways are higher than my ways and that He works everything for our good.

So today, 11 years later, I cry with hope.  I ache with hope ‘cause I KNOW our goodbye was not the end. Oh no! We said goodbye with hope, knowing we’ll see her face again!

11 Years Ago Today (part 2)

May 22, 2001.

I don’t remember much about today. I just talked to my sister Robyn and she remember my Granny, and my aunts (my mom’s sisters)  driving down and eating with them.  I have no recollection of that. I do know that my granny was in a bad place – her youngest child had just passed away not long before my mom. Robyn remembers Granny saying “ I can’t go through this again, I just can’t.” But she did – although it was hard. She’s buried two of her children – doesn’t seem quite right does it??

I remember four specific things about today.

First, I called my friend Mrs. Smith early in the morning and explained why I wouldn’t be at school that day. I started rambling off all the things that weren’t done in my class room and she said “I’ll take care of it” and she did. I didn’t do one more thing in my room or with my report cards or anything. She took care of it.  Later, she took care of me, but today, she took care of all my stuff.

Second, they were painting a mural on an outside wall of that small hospital in Marathon. I watched the painter paint. I know it was an underwater scene but I can’t tell you anything else about it.  It seemed like it was taking forever!

My sister Robyn is a nurse and the third thing had to do with her.  She had to give our Mom CPR on the beach.  Someone came up and told her they had called 911 and helped her with chest compressions, but afterwards, nobody else saw or could remember that person. Kind of strange, huh??  I watched her switch between being a daughter and being a nurse. She would come in and check Mom’s chart like a nurse. Then, she’d go out into the hallway and cry. She flip-flopped back and forth the whole day.

The last thing I remember may be the sweetest, but to non-church people, it will seem strange.  My family had gone to a church in Marathon on Sunday and filled out visitor cards. They had marked “just visiting” and yes, we have a home church.  Tuesday night, two ladies from that church came to the hospital. I think only Patti and Robyn and I were there. They said “Is there anything we can do for you?” We have yet to figure out how they knew what happened, how they connected the story they’d heard to the people who had visited on Sunday, or how they matched that to us. . No idea.  It was the nicest thing I’d ever heard of.  They have no idea how much that meant. I hope I can do that for someone else one day!

I don’t remember sleeping.  Isn’t that strange? I can’t remember eating.  I know that I did sometime, but I can’t remember it. I know one time they sent me back to the house to go to sleep and I swam laps in the pool. It was gray outside and I just swam back and forth and back and forth. Maybe it was nighttime – I just can’t remember.

11 Years Ago Today

Eleven years ago today was a post-planning day.  May 21, 2001 we were done with students and we were cleaning up our rooms and finishing up.  Our whole family, except Patti and I,  were all in the Keys on vacation.  We couldn’t go because we weren’t done with school yet.  Funny how things change.  I was at my mom and dad’s house with Patti and Makiah, getting ready for dinner and the phone rang.  We had no idea how that phone call would change our lives.

Mom, Daddy, Robyn and her boys had left for the Keys on Saturday. Momma was SO excited – she was packed early. On Sunday night, they all watched Touched by an Angel and Mom made a comment about how she hoped when it was her time to go, she hoped the angel Andrew came from her. 

 

On Monday, while we were at work, they all went to Bahia Honda.  Bahia Honda is a state park and several years ago, it was named one of the most beautiful beaches in the United States.  Mom had had her first massage a week earlier and when the masseuse told her to think of the perfect place, she thought of Bahia Honda.

 

They all floated through that gap in the bridge and came out on the other side. Mom couldn't catch her breath – Ken carried her out of the water.

 

The phone rings, Patti answers and immediately falls apart. I get on the phone and hear – “You’re mom had an accident.  You need to get here.” 

Daddy has a friend named Dave Norris who has his own plane and his pilots license. We were told he would meet us at our tiny airport in a hour.  We grabbed some stuff and left.

I’d never flown in that small plane – and hope to never again. There was lightning, he had to keep changing direction to avoid the lightening.  But where I was sitting, I could see the little gauge that shows lightening strikes – it wasn’t pleasant.  It seemed forever and it seemed no time at all.  I prayed and prayed – and finally understood Romans 8:26  

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Read it this way:

He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.

I was doing a  LOT of wordless sighs and aching groans.

We landed in Marathon – the airport is tinier than ours. It was after midnight – there was nobody there but our daddy. He picked up us, took Dave Norris to the house  they had rented and left him and took Patti and I to the hospital, where we saw our Mom lying there, unresponsive. We were told she'd had a heart attack and the doctor had put her on life support.  

I had no idea how that day would end when I woke up that morning.  May 21, 2001– the worst day I’d ever had in my life.